Holiday gift guides will be popping up all over the place pretty soon. One big problem with most holiday shopping guides are that they are not Mac centric. The other major flaw of holiday shopping guides is that other people rarely look at them trying to decide what to get you, they look upon these guides to over consumption to decide what they want (Hey, a Rotato™, I’ll save money on curly fries!). This leads to the inevitable cycle of disappointment, guy wants a Rotatoª but gift giver thinks he needs a sweater. The day after the festivities the poor fellow is stuck in the kitchen trying to peel potatoes with a red cardigan. In an effort to prevent the inevitable heartbreak I have prepared a Mac centric shopping guide which you can give to all potential gift givers. The gift guide also makes it seem as though you’re not asking for any of the stuff, which is a huge added bonus. How to use the EZ Mac gift guide: Copy all the text after “Snip Here” and paste it into your favorite word processor. Type (your name here) into the “find text” box and your name into the “replace text with” box. The list becomes magically personalized. Simply print the list out and distribute it as often as possible.
———————-Snip Here————————-Welcome to the (your name here) Holiday Gift Guide. This list of gifts for (your name here) has been scientifically compiled by Giftsthatwillbeloved.com based on questionnaires answered by (your name here)’s closest friends and web viewing habits. If (your name here) doesn’t absolutely love any gift off this list we will refund double your money, that’s how sure we are at Giftsthatwillbeloved.com of our gift selecting methods. Now on to the gifts that will be treasured forever broken down conveniently by price.
You have unlimited resources Well Mr. Gates (your name here) would simply love a copy of Windows XP and several billion dollars. Imagine the joy of (your name here) as he opens up a shiny new copy of Windows XP and sees the bank account number and balance taped to the front. His supreme joy at the prospect of free operating system will only be outshone by the joy that his new found wealth means he will never have to actually install Windows XP.
You wish to spend under $50,000 Presentation is everything and sometimes more is actually better. Imagine the joy as (your name here) opens the ultimate Mac collection! For only $12,803.00 you’ll be giving the top of the line Mac with all the top of line goodies. Twenty two-inch flat panel display, two processors, superfast hard drives, even an iPod. (your name here) will never forget this gift (at least not until it becomes obsolete five or six years from now). Remember TiBooks make great stocking stuffers! Sure no one needs this kind of horsepower but it’s only money!
You wish to spend under $10,000 Surely (your name here) deserves this kind of indulgence. For a mere $7056 you can give (your name here) a complete computing solution. The elation will be legion as (your name here) opens both the top of the line G4 desktop machine and a top of the line TiBook. Both with Airport!
You wish to spend under $5,000 While (your name here) is obviously not the most important person in your life we have the ultimate middle Mac selection. Sure (your name here) won’t be getting the best but (your name here) will still be happy to know that you’re thinking of them. The low low price of $3895.00 gets (your name here) a top of line iMac and an iBook. With the included Airport base station and easy internet access your friend will be emailing you with thanks within minutes of opening your gift.
You wish to spend under a $1,000 So you’re an acquaintance of (your name here). However (your name here) is a good person why not consider an iMac. For the paltry sum of $799 (your name here) gets a shiny iMac. Wheeeeeee!
You wish to spend under $500 Since you have seen (your name here) in passing and since (your name here) was not overtly rude we suggest the iPod. It’s more than just an MP3 player, it’s an MP3 player from Apple that doubles as a 5 gig hard drive.
You want to spend less than $250 While we are uncertain what (your name here) has done to offend you so deeply we recommend you give the gift Mac games. You know the entire deal: Diablo II, the expansion pack and whatever else you can find.
You want to spend less than $100 (your name here) might like an airport card.
You want to spend under $50 What’s the point? (your name here) is already in line for a sweater! If you must we recommend a subscription to MyMac. For $49.95 (your name here) can get a year long “special” subscription to MyMac, with a personalized message electronically “signed” by the publisher.
You want to spend under $20 Why not just seduce (your name here)’s spouse? It’s obvious you detest (your name here). If you still insist on a gift get (your name here) a shareware copy of Reckless Drivin. Be forewarned the game is actually fun and (your name here) will get a lot of enjoyment from the registered copy.
You want to spend less than $10 We don’t know, maybe a six pack to ease the pain of knowing you detest (your name here).
———————-Snip Here————————-Of course this is all in good fun. For a real holiday treat why not go out and do something for your fellow man? Shovel the driveway for that nice old lady down the street or teach a kid to use the ‘net. Ring a bell for Salvation Army, donate clothes to Goodwill or volunteer for the United Way.