Macintosh and the WooWoo Factor

Macintosh and the WooWoo Factor

A rambling discourse on the non-scientific principle of WooWoo

by Mary Beth Lock, Professor of WooWoo Sciences, Honorary

I’m not certain who coined the term WooWoo; I could modestly say it was myself but then again, given the nature of WooWoo itself, it could have been many in the collective consciousness at the time. I define WooWoo as those things which cannot be defined by the scientific principle, and as such are often misunderstood and maligned

WooWoo is ancient as the earth itself. Becoming proficient in the art and science of WooWoo is not the chosen path of all, but has been my field of study for over 25 years. This is why I feel confident in conferring upon myself an Honorary Doctorate in WooWoo, and providing an introductory discourse on the subject.

The first basic tenet of WooWoo is “Just because you don’t believe in it, or cannot prove it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.” To further this notion, let’s use minor psychic abilities as an example. The telephone rings, and it’s your great aunt Betty Lou. You hadn’t seen or heard from her in years, but just this morning an old picture album fell off the shelf while you were dusting, and that old polaroid from 1972 slides out; you and great aunt Betty Lou. “Coincidence”, you may scoff to yourself, but I disagree. This is WooWoo.

Remember the old tenet “Be Careful What You Wish For, You Just Might Get It.” This also is WooWoo. The premise being that when one gets what one wishes for, one may no longer appreciate it’s value, or that it carries with it responsibilities for which one is not prepared. (I had a friend recently tell me that to use the term “one” was pretentious, however, in order to sound educated and intelligent in this matter, one must adopt these affectations of speech.) I myself refuse to be careful what I wish for, as in my years of wishes fulfilled I’ve had many fine adventures. Of course, they did not all seem so at the time, but when looking back it’s easy to see that even the ones which were not appreciated at first were good in the long run. Another important factor of WooWoo is the teacher will appear when the student is ready. Lessons are teachers, even if you don’t want them. WooWoo.

WooWoo also applies to the esoteric sciences; astrology, numerology, tarot, psychic readings, those unexplainable yet uncannily accurate modalities which send shivers up the spine in dark tents at county fairs.

WooWoo also works it’s mysterious magic across the internet. Have you ever noticed the odd coincidence that all of the sudden, columnists will all begin to write on the same subject, without any external provocation? OK, sure, lots of times it’s a news story or a new release of something or a lawsuit that brings about the general nature of the same theme. But sometimes, it’s NOT! And when it’s not, it’s WooWoo. You wonder, how did all those people have the same type of idea at the same time? WooWoo. WooWoo explains many things.

So let us move on to the Macintosh and the WooWoo Factor. Surely those ones and zeros geeks (and I use the term geek as the highest form of compliment) who developed the hardware and software for the Macintosh had some sense of the WooWoo. After all, the first basic reasoning for owning a Macintosh was because “it’s intuitive.” And is intuition not WooWoo? But of course it is! (Although I could not prove it by any method currently known.)

So we posit this theory; (I know, I know…”we” is as pretentious as “one”, sheesh, I’m trying to sound educated here, after all, am I not a Macintosh columnist?) the Theory of the WooWoo Factor of the Macintosh posits that “In order to fully appreciate the intuitiveness of the Macintosh computer, one must have a slight sense of the WooWoo.”

Let us disregard the scientific principle for a moment, and assume that for all practical purposes WooWoo does indeed exist in our lives for reasons unknown. My question is, “do we have to know how to prove everything?” Isn’t it enough that sometimes things just happen? We are not personifications of Lucy Ricardo. We don’t always have ‘splainin to do.

Now let us examine by example how the WooWoo factor is useful in operating your Macintosh computer.

My personal favorite way of troubleshooting my Macintosh is what is fondly known as “the poke and hope” method of computer troubleshooting. This method, of course, is extremely WooWoo. It is predicated on the notion that “unless I trash all my extensions, or do something drastic of that nature, I cannot screw up my computer. And even if I do, I have all my files backed up and can re-install the applications and the operating system.” This greatly reduces the Fear of the Unknown. So I close my eyes and try to visualize the problem in my head. When “A” becomes “B”, the application crashes. Hmmmm…..(please close your eyes now and envision me with my hand on my chin, looking wise, intuitive and WooWoo. No, I’m not stroking my beard, I waxed last week.) Then, AhHa! in a flash of WooWoo I restart and rebuild my desktop. Problem solved.

OK, I’ll admit it’s not always that simple. However, if one gives in to the theory of WooWoo and Macintosh computing, it can be. Part of acknowledging the unknown sciences is to quit struggling against the problems and allow them to become a wondrous and glorious experience of learning. The freedom of WooWoo as applied to the Macintosh computing experience is broadening. Allow it to enter your lives and you will see how marvelously life changes for the better. Your blood pressure will go down, your heart will beat slower, you will become one and serene with your hard drive. Let us not be in denial of our WooWooness.

With Macintosh and the WooWoo Factor, computing can become fun again. Isn’t time we stopped being so serious? (Say yes.)

Beth Lock

Leave a Reply