TIME TRAVEL SIMPLIFIED

TIME TRAVEL SIMPLIFIED (REPEAT)

Alright. Many of you know I have dabbled in time travel (or intra-universe jaunts). A few of you have had the guts to witness this, and one of you have gone with me. So you know this is for real. No joke.

But all of you are wondering how a hack-writer like me ended up building a legitimate time machine. All without massive infusions of cash, government sponsorship, or any technical or mathematical savvy.

Well, I will tell you how to build a time machine of your own. 

But I must warn you, once you do, it will prove to be useless to you. Not because the machine doesn’t work, but because time travel changes nothing, and it only leads to regret. 

There may be other uses that this phenomenon can be used for, such as preserving food, star travel, or the preservation of a life.

But here is the key to all of it: ITS ALL MUONS, BABY!

Actually, it is. 

Time travel involves the manipulation of these plentiful Leptons. 

This was not discovered by standard research, nor mathematical development, but by simple observation.

Ahem. It all began with our dryer. You know, the one in your garage? The one which always loses socks? (Bear with me. There is a reason to my madness, after all.)

Our dryer, a standard Kenmore, about 8 years old, has always lost socks. You put in 8 pair and you always get 3 1/2 to 4 1/2 pair back. And sometimes a few of the pairs no longer match. We have boxes full of these socks that no longer have a match anywhere.

For a long time my wife and I were intent to solve this situation. We actually began to buy one brand from one source, all in black, with the same pattern. Made no difference. We still would end up with fewer socks that we put in, and we would still inherit mis-matched pairs.

We know our dryer is a finite system. The air vent on our dryer ends outside our garage, through a six foot aluminum flex-tube. Inside the dryer is a metal tub that rotates and is full of 1/8th inch holes. That tub sits inside a bigger drum through which heated air is forced. That air exits through a lint filter and out the flex-tube to the outside through a 5 inch hole in the garage wall. Closed system. Not only are the tub and drum closely sealed around the edges and openings, but there are no hidden spaces within the dryer where anything could accumulate, such as individual socks.

We’ve had it apart on two occasions, completely taken apart. Guess what? No socks anywhere.

Where do they all go?

A more important question would be, where do the odd socks come from? The ones that no longer match the socks we own?

Evidently, it was Muons that were responsible. (How did I arrive at THAT, you ask?)

Seriously. I have always been a voracious reader, of anything. I love quantum mechanics, physics, electromagnetic phenomenon, and astrophysics. Muons therefore, were not unknown to me.

Muons are differentiated from common electrons because of two things. First, they are 200 times heavier than electrons, and second, they have a spin of one-half. Muons also have another characteristic: They are also the only Leptons that exhibit time-dialation in our gravity well. Plus, we swim in a great Muon sea, on the surface of our planet. (Google the Wiki Muon article to see what I mean. And no, I didn’t write that article.) 

What I figured out that Muons were doing, was that they were creating tiny space-time portals on the inside surface of my dryer, where in our socks were falling through.

Ever lost a set of keys under mysterious circumstances? How about a favorite pen or cell phone? Chances are, you have also been a victim of these localized, temporary portals, appearing under whatever it was you happened to lose. How else can you explain those events?

Where do they all go, all these lost items?  I have no idea. Perhaps these are the things that make up those rings around Saturn. Or perhaps there is a place in all of space-time where someone, someday will find, which is full of everything that has ever been lost.

OK. I figured out how my socks were lost. Next I had to figure out how to use these pesky little Muons, or more accurately, utilize the space-time portals they create.

That was hard, believe me. It took years of experimentation, blood, sweat and tears. 

Nah. I got lucky.

First, by approximating the effects of my dryer, I developed a Muon collector. It was crude and buggy, but it worked.

The neat thing that Muons have going for them is that there is no need of any fusion, fission, or anything radioactive. A simple hookup to house current was all that was required, because I next developed an electronic version of the collector. And I learned how to focus those portals the collector created.

Muons are always around us and flying through us. There are at least 10,000 in every square meter, during every minute. So there are plenty to use. If you read the Wiki article, you know that Muons can also be temporary Hydrogen atoms, where a Muon plays the part of the Proton and another Muon does the orbiting Electron. There are also anti-Muons, or positive charged Muons. And there are stranger ones, too, but we do not need to speak of these here. 

The best thing about all Muons is that they all have the relativistic characteristic. This, I believe, causes them to make these more or less random space-time portals on any given surface, whenever they congregate in great enough numbers. 

My very crude collector (with a focus feature) helps me create the portals I use for time travel. 

Why do Muons work? A Muon lasts for a very short time (2.2 nanoseconds), but because they travel at the speed of light, they last in our gravity well, for a very much longer apparent time. Perhaps that is why they can create these time or space portals. 

Or perhaps it is because of the 1/2 spin. In reality, all matter is made of electromagnetic particle/waves, bent into protons, electrons, leptons, etc. Einstein predicted 11 dimensions in our space/time continuum. the other dimensions that we do not see (besides the three we ‘exist’ in), are very, very small. Small enough so that a proton, electron or lepton can be half buried in the pocket of one of these extra dimensions (which is why we say that they have a partial charge, polarity or spin). So perhaps that is why Muons can create a temporary portal leading elsewhere or elsewhen. Who knows? One of you figure it out, please, and tell the rest of us.

And no, I did not test it by walking through the first portal I made, up against a bare wall in my garage. I used a video camera on a pole, to see if there was anything on the other side. I fully expected to see my socks floating in space somewhere. But instead, I got scenes of a lovely meadow in early morning light (it was midnight where I was). 

So I took a deep breath and walked through. We won’t speak of the bull I met in that meadow, or of my sudden appearance, back in my garage a few seconds later. (But that all seems to have been decades ago, on some odd timeline. Or maybe it was yesterday.)

= = = 

Anyway. Now you know what I know. 

You have read of my explorations here at mymac.com. Yeah, and now you might have guessed that a great many of my stories may have come from those excursions. (What, ALL of my Mac Continuum stories were lived out somewhen else? Nah. I’d never admit to that. =)

You also know that I told you that time travel is largely useless. Because the past cannot be changed; the future is not the same when you return; and a person is limited to time travel within their own lifetime, for some unknown reason. Perhaps one of you will figure out why this is so in intra-dimensional travel. If you figure it out, tell the rest of us. (And if you figure out how to really time travel, don’t come back!)

But, I also said that these dimensional portals might be adjusted and put to some useful purpose other than for time travel or losing socks. 

My idea is a box, like a refrigerator, where you put food in, hot or cold, and when you get it out, no time has passed for that item, so it is absolutely as fresh as when you put it in. Think of it! The time box would use no energy, nor would it require either heat or cold to preserve food. It could be a real blessing for mankind. 

Now imagine that someone could use these portals to create such a box, that can exist in the surface of a small pocket Padd. . . 

Or that someone might use the portals to build a suit you could wear, that would allow you to travel from star to star in no time, without the aid of a ship. . . 

And yeah, I can foresee someone placing Uncle Bob in that big time box, there in the kitchen, after his sudden heart attack, while they are waiting for the ambulance to arrive. Or maybe they’ll use a time box to put him in while they operate on his heart, without the need of anesthesia. . .

There may be a lot of uses for a device like this, don’t you think?

Who knows what other uses any of you might come up with. 

Good luck with your explorations, and inventions. If you have the guts to try it.

Copies of my plans for building my first generation Muon Collector and Focusing Time Travel Device are for sale, for $1000. Contact me by email if you are interested. 

Regards, Roger
No checks or money orders. Small bills only.
Never squat with your spurs on.
Void where prohibited.
Your mileage may vary.
Sorry, No Refunds.

Film at 11.

.

  email – MyMac Magazine – Twitter – Advertise – Reviews Archive – Podcast