Not another one!

Birthdays SUCK! When did this happen to me? I used to look forward to celebrating the good fortune the rest of the world received when I was born. Oh you lucky people that live in a world so blessed that I’m in it.

I mean, I’m really an amazing person. I’ve got reasonably good health, most of my teeth (OK some are crowned), most of my hair (except on the very top), a wife who tolerates my various idiosyncrasies, two kids who mostly care when I speak to them, a job that I enjoy, a mortgage that is at a really low rate and more than half paid for, no car payments, and a philosophy that keeps me mostly on an even keel. Heck, even God loves me. That might seem a bit of an egotistical statement, but if you knew about all the stupid crap I got myself into when I was younger (and presumably less wise than I am now), you would be amazed that I’m as evenly mentally balanced as I am (I don’t take it for granted though).

So I really don’t have anything to complain about and I typically don’t. Right around the 9th of September though, I start thinking about where I’ve been and how long I’ve seen the sunrises and sunsets. 45 years of watching the Earth spin around the sun and I wonder how many more turns I’ll get to see. Here’s the “Ohhhhhhh! I’m getting OLD! WOE IS ME!” What a pathetic waste of time that can be. So I’ll stop doing that now.

Both my parents died around the age of 84 so I figure I’ve got at least 39 years to go. Well, barring natural and of my own making disasters. I could walk in front of a bus, or fall off a roof, be stricken by killer acne, or be maimed by some raccoon that suddenly was irradiated and grew to Godzilla-like proportions. It could happen!

I look at myself as a survivor of the 60s, 70s (I don’t seem to be able to remember in great detail this decade though), 80s (Not quite as fuzzy at least during the latter half of the decade), 90s, and now a new millennium. When I think about all the things that have happened during these decades, I’m surprised that any of us are here to talk about it.

I guess some time in my 20s, I started not enjoying the anniversary of my birth. It just wasn’t fun anymore. With age comes experience I’ve heard it said. A time to reflect on past mistakes, with a vow to not repeat them. Well, I must have missed that lecture because I continue to screw up with the same bad decisions. Fortunately my wife is smarter than I am and manages to prevent any permanent damage except to my ego. Maybe I should stop for a moment and think about what I’ve done with my life.

I was born in a free country (mostly) that allows me to use my brain for something other than worrying about where I’ll sleep tonight or how I’ll get food to eat. Of course I was luckier than others, some through no fault of their own have to wonder about those things even here in this country. I was lucky enough to grow up (?) near the Atlantic Ocean in a year round warm climate and was able to swim in her everyday if I chose to. I made it through the public school system pretty much intact and was never threatened by gangs and whatever damage I took was self-inflicted. I had two loving parents that worked long and hard to see to it that I never had to suffer and I thank them, not only for my life, but for their life lessons as well.

I was a bad teenager, doing lots of things that I knew I shouldn’t, but not letting a little something like knowing the difference between right and wrong stop me. Of course this path leads to legal problems or the grave. Since I’m writing this 20-30 years later, you can guess what happened. I got through those years by finding out that this wasn’t the life I wanted and if I was going to survive, I had to change. So I did. Just like that. It can be done if you’re willing to work at it and understand that mistakes you made must be atoned for. Step one is admitting the mistake. Not blaming it on music, or your friends, or drugs, or liquor, or your environment, or the government, or cable TV. Everyone is ultimately responsible for his or her own behavior and if you know the basic difference between right and wrong, the choice is yours to make. Don’t expect a lot of sympathy from me if you take the wrong road. Step two is patience. Don’t expect to get the CEO job immediately if you have some bumps in your past. You work the jobs available and strive for better.

I was fortunate enough to be curious about electronic and that lead me to the career I have now. It enabled me to have a job that took me to 70 countries over the course of 6 years and into the field that has gainfully employed me for the last 25 years. It made my wife curious enough to know more about me than was on the surface and 13 years of marriage and two wonderful children. Everyday is a learning experience. Some good, some bad and that’s OK.

You know what? Maybe this birthday thing isn’t as bad as I thought. Happy Birthday to me.