The Bush Man Date

OK, I’m confused. Everybody keeps talking about this Man Date the people gave to George W. Bush in the election last week and I’m like (cue Moe Sizlack voice) Whaaaaa???? (end Moe Sizlack voice) because, you know, last I heard he is still married and all to Laura and plus, I thought he was against that sort of thing on general principles. Leastwise that’s the impression I got. But hey, I’m a live and let live kinda gal and if the People want to give the President a Man Date I say why the hell not?

But I keep thinking I missed something on the ballot I was given, wherein I was supposed to check yes or no to a Man Date if George W. Bush won the election. ‘Cause I didn’t get one of those ballots. So maybe there is some truth to the rumor that voter fraud happened in the election. You know, some states that had electronic voting with no paper trail got to vote on the Man Date and others didn’t. The whole process beats the heck out of me, ’cause I gotta be honest here, I thought there was no way in hell George Bush would win the election. Let alone a Man Date.

OK, so maybe it wasn’t on the ballot at all and this is going to be a new DockuDramaDy on the FOX network for fall sweeps week wherein the American People, who gave George Bush his Man Date, get to choose who the Man will be and What Exciting Adventure George and his Man Date will embark upon. I hope Arnie is one of the contestants ’cause I think it would be great fun to see Arnie and George out on a Date together. Although Mel Gibson might be good too. Who wouldn’t give their eyeteeth to go out with Mel Gibson?

Then all the talk show hosts like Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly could talk about the Man Date on their shows, and how it is good for America that Bush has a Man Date and how stupid the liberals are for not backing the Bush Man Date because, you know, it was like the American People who GAVE it to him an all. Plus, maybe Rush could get ’em a little Oxy Contin to make the Date more enjoyable.

Anyhow, I for one am pretty excited to see where all this is leading. Hey, I’ll bet I know what’s going to happen. See, Thanksgiving is coming up, and wouldn’t it be cool if George W. Bush and his Man Date fly over to Iraq and, (you’ll love this idea) he and his Man Date could dress up in military clothes and rent a Limo and, you know, go visit the troops and maybe serve ’em up some Thanksgiving dinner or something. Like, they could take Emeril along too. See, Emeril in Iraq would be cool because he always says BAM! So there’s Emeril back in the kitchen yelling BAM and everytime he does George and his Man Date hit the deck because they’ve never really been in a war or ‘nothin like that so what do they know, they think they’re being bombed. And right there you’ve got all the elements of a FOX DockuDramaDy.

Anyhow, as soon as somebody finds out who the Man Date is and where they are going, let me know OK? ‘Cause I sure as hell ain’t got a clue as to what it’s all about.