Sports

Before I get to the gmail invites (I invite because I love) I am going to talk a little sports. Not sports as in recent happenings but rather why I find sports so endlessly diverting (though I will note the mighty Volunteers, my alma mater, beat the Florida Gators this weekend).

A lot of people find sports interesting just because they can get a little action on the game. You can tell these people because they bet on teams they have absolutely no connection to or actual interest in. If it wasn’t for the fact that this month’s house payment is riding on a second string left tackle making a pancake block thereby allowing a third string running back to score a late superfluous touchdown thereby beating the spread they wouldn’t watch. These people aren’t interested in sports, they are interested in gambling. Which, honestly, I am okay with. Hey if you want to spend the money for the electric bill on an eighteen year old’s decision-making ability that’s fine, it’s your money and all.

There are other sports fans, people who like teams for geographic reasons or because their Dad liked a team. These fans are more interesting. These are people who will invest no small part of themselves in the actions that have little or no impact on their lives and which they have absolutely no control over. These are the true sports fans, these are people to be admired. Face it if you’re a Yankees fan (you filthy swine) and the Yankees win the World Series it’s not going to benefit you in any way. But you’ll still be excited.

Why this behavior? Why be excited about something that has scant true import? That’s the point. It is, in fact, the loss of control that makes it interesting. You voluntarily give yourself over to a team, say the Detroit Lions with full knowledge that no matter how hard your scream at your TV, no matter how many official Lion’s hats you buy it’s not going to have a direct impact one the field. You like the Detroit Lions because of the absurdity of it all. (Team Jumpers are exempted from this, you insufferable a$$holes).

Let me give an example: I have been a huge St. Louis Cardinal fan for as long as I can remember. I would trade a Cardinals World Series win for another Volunteers NCAA Championship in the time it takes a Windows computer to get a virus. I also love to go to the games, I love sitting way up high in Busch stadium, buying beer off the walking vendor and just being there. It is my idea of a true happening. Sure I can’t see jack OR sht, too high up, but I can follow it all on the scoreboard. Yes the food and beer are priced in ways that make an airport blush but still I am actually there, in the same zip code as the team I follow on a daily basis. And I’m there with a slew of people who feel the same way. It’s a beautiful experience, Republicrats and Demopublicans all agree for a time, they want the Cards to win. (That said, when I want to watch baseball, I go see the AA Smokies. Minor league baseball is quite possibly the most under appreciated form of family entertainment on the planet. Those guys can play and the prices are cheap.)

The other really great thing about sports is that it provides a shorthand way of talking to strangers. By the age of fifteen most people have met all the people they care to (At least me. I think Todd reached that milestone sometime in utero). So sports provide a basic language. You like Georgia football? Why this means you suck for the following reasons: you like Georgia football. Sports are an instant topic, a topic where you can say my team sucks and I can reciprocate but because we have absolutely no bearing on the teams we love if someone disagrees we don’t hold that against them (though one might sneer derisively). Try that with religion or politics.

Good God, what have I done? Ruined a perfectly good page of email invites. Here’s the deal: Click on the links, get your gmail thing on, leave a comment. Well you don’t have to leave a comment but I’d appreciate it. I’ll skate in as soon as I know the e-mail is gone and remove the link thus hiding your newly birthed gmail address from view.

Invite 1

Invite 2

Invite 3

Invite 4

invite 5