After two million attempts at a voice over your speaking hole gets a bit tired. I know there are people who can get everything just right without trying (and those people should be shot for making the more normal among us feel badly) but I just can’t stand my goofy inflections. So I’ve decided it takes me roughly three nights to record one voice over. One night to try and wing it, one night to write it and try to say it and one night to actually record it. Strangely enough I find the process pretty fun.
So I should be working on a voiceover but my voice has gone the way of Oklahoma defense hence I am turning my attention to posting a blog. And man it has been awhile. Sure no one missed my posts but I missed posting. I can’t explain why I like to post, it is a mystery to me, but something about the process is very enjoyable. Upon reflection I think I know the reason: Tim reads every thing posted on MyMac and if you can do a voiceover in one night well you deserve to be forced to read a little drivel now and then.
That useless preamble out of the way I’ve got something on my mind, and that something is Australians. Not the new Aussies avoid these people because they like things like vegemite. Sure, according to the UN it is chock full of fairly agreeable people (like Carmel Glover) but any society that willingly ingests vegemite and simultaneously finds cricket diverting is probably not the place for me. On the other hand they drink a ton of beer so they’ve got that going for them. Remember the first pigmently challenged people to populate Australia were criminals. Sure the crimes were probably minor but the thing they take from the nation that booted them is cricket? And then they invent vegemite? Clearly these were people who took the entire punishment deal all too seriously. Oh and you can have Russell Crowe back any time you want him.
So the light skinned Aussies are great and all if a bit self-flagellating. But what interest’s me on this chilly day is the Aborigines. Let me note that I bet the Aborigines in Australia aren’t treated all to fair, that is kind of a legacy from Britain. The drill is as follows: First you send some colonists to establish a beachhead. Once you have a sufficient number of colonists you muster them and go kill the natives. All the while talking about how enlightened and civilized you are.
The inherent dangers of colonization aside one has to wonder about the first people to colonize Australia. I mean you really have to wonder. Just how the **** did they get there? Apparently (and this date can always be moved backward) the first Aussies arrived some 50,000 years ago…over water…in sufficient number to start a founding population.
Genetically the original Aussies are consistent with the Out of Africa theory which holds that modern humans developed in Africa and then fanned out (in that sense we are all one people…actually in every sense we are all one people, if you want to get all bent out of shape about religion or pigmentation then, honestly, you suck). But it hard to imagine how 50,000 years ago folks mastered the seas to such an extent that they were able to no only make it to Australia but arrive in adequate numbers to found a self sustaining population. The other surprise is that they didn’t leave. If you’re advanced enough to navigate seas you should probably be intelligent enough to realize that someday folks would tell you vegemite is tasty and a decent option for breakfast.
In any event how people first showed up in Australia and Kennewick man remain a mystery to me. Interesting to be sure but seemingly inexplicable.
That is far too much of my meanderings, so if you haven’t clawed your eyes out I present:
Rigorous Rogers Ribald Retorts
Story of a Bear
Todd and I disagreed on the best part of this video. I opined it was the violence and Todd said it was the sweet ending. Todd is a wuss.
Tunak Tunak Tun
Just watch it
My latest Applematters column
I’ll have a new one Thursday.
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