I live in the south so I may be biased but from what I can tell it seems as though NASCAR is taking over the nation. They’ve got races all over the country, playing to packed houses, and there are rumors of venues such as select spots in Canada (There is already a Busch race in Mexico City). NASCAR an international sport? I just don’t get it.
First off I don’t get the sport part at all. Sports usually involve some level of athleticism and it is going to be pretty tough to convince me that NASCAR drivers are athletes in the traditional sense. Sure it takes a nice amount of hand eye co-ordination and some deft footwork but they’re DRIVING, not pushing, the stupid car. So while I appreciate that they have the hand eye skills of the most l337 gamer I still can’t quite embrace the idea that drivers are actual athletes. For example: athletes take steroids to enhance performance and I bet there aren’t any NASCAR juicers. On the other hand NASCAR does have plenty of familiar names. Apparently the best way to be a NASCAR driver is to be responsible for the death of a rabbit. That is to say that if you really want to be a driver your best bet is to be the son of a NASCAR driver. That is something you don’t see in baseball or football. Surely there are exceptions: Peyton Manning or Kobe Bryant but by and large admission into most sports at the professional level has more to do with talent than genealogy.
I also don’t get the appeal. Take the recent Daytona 500. I saw the last half hour of the race and it was some of the most compelling television I had seen in quite awhile. You had wrecks, lead changes, and a surprising finish. Honestly, I was glued to my seat. Well actually a spot about two feet in front of the TV. In any event it was great and I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. If that were NASCAR all the time I’d never miss a second. The important thing to realize is that the final thirty minutes was preceded by several hours of the most boring television possible. The cars on the track drive round and round, round and round…. Yeah, there is the occasional wreck but hockey also features the occasional goal and that isn’t must see TV (or even can see TV).
I know some people like NASCAR because they like Fords and Chevys. I get that. I like Macs and if there were a Mac v Windows competition I would pull for the Macs all day long. Thing is that the cars on the track have very little to do with the cars produced by Ford or Chevy. They call them a Taurus or a Monte Carlo but if there is actually anything stock on the stock cars I don’t have a clue about what it might be. I haven’t seen a six hundred horsepower Taurus, well, ever. (Though the Taurus SHO was made for a time, for when you absolutely had to get you kids to school on time).
I guess, on some level, people imagine themselves driving the car (Well, I don’t think Owen has to imagine. I’m pretty sure he knows). If that is the appeal then I say NASCAR should go all out and make people really empathize with the drivers. Instead of crack crews in the pits getting guys in and out in seconds you could have random Jiffy Lube workers drawn in a lottery from Jiffy Lubes all over the host city. The drivers would swerve into the pit, climb out the car and go sit by a pot of stale coffee while they read six-month-old magazines. They’d also be forced to turn down all the offers of winterization and coolant changes. Watching someone getting slowly furious as he tries to explain for the sixth time that he wants new tires not a mere rotation would be worth watching.
Ahhh, I feel better.
So it is time for:
Gordon’s Gurgling Gallery of Garagable Glurge (Everyone hates Jeff Gordon so I pull for him. Contrarian nature I guess.)
Excellent short flick:
Balance
I would’ve have called it I want that freakin box but Balance is nice and arty.
Game Pick:
Adventure
Has there ever been a better game? Well Probably. But when it came out there wasn’t. I still have nightmares about man eating ducks and being completely geometrical.
Best game going on right now?
Nation States
Hey, that’s my country: Frothy Lager. Start your own and move to The Roadhouse.
All this brought to you by:
An excellent read, I mean the twists, the turns, the informative writing. It is a work of sheer, well, iMovieness.
Actually in the book one of the pieces of advice I gave was to not record Pauly Shore no matter how much he begged. Someone didn’t read the book.
From Johan:
Bush Orders Cape and Crown
Ah, the Weekly World News crosses the line from pure shlock to witty satire. Read the text.
Late breaking link!
100 Best Horror Novels
Sure it is just another list but the page has to be in the running for next list:Hundred ugliest things on the internet. Ugh.
Requisite Hello Kitty Message:
HELLO KITTY SAYS SEIBOLD SHRIMP VOMIT TASTE MUMMY GOOD
Actually I do know what that is about. You’ve got to be careful about what you reveal on the ‘net.
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