Kids TV

I let junior (17 mos.) watch 1.5 hours of TV a day. Lately his schedule has been a bit off so he’s watching a wider variety of TV (It used to be High Five and Sesame Street but with his sleeping habits changing the shows have changed too. I’ve gotta say there are some incredibly freakin annoying kids shows on. So below I present a list of annoying kid shows:

5) The Wiggles. A bunch of Austrailian guys sing, dance, and basically annoy the hell out of me. GodAwful! I wish Dorothy the Dinosaur would eat Captain Feathersword and Wags the dog. No that’s not right, I wish Dorothy would eat the ENTIRE DAMN CAST and choke to death on the last one.

4) DragonTales This one features a couple kids who wish to go to a magical land full of dragons. Hilarity ensues. The show isn’t completely awful but it’s so freaking boring that the kid can only watch about three minutes of the non action before he runs to the bathroom to pull all the toilet paper off the roll. Besides isn’t transporting yourself to magical places what the first year of college is for?

3)Zoom This is a badly produced piece-o-crap. It’s on PBS but the show seems like something I could put together in my basement. Well, that’s being a little generous, if my basement looked like that I’d burn the house down.

2) Dora the Explorer This is a show about a little kid who wonders around referencing a map while talking directly to the camera. I think it’s mostly a showmercial but it does have the one redeeming quality of featuring a bit of Spanish. I just learned that there’s a Dora the Explorer live tour. If it comes to Knoxville I’m fighting Dora.

1)Barney I don’t know any mobsters but if I did I would have barney hit. The only thing decent about Barney is the theme song. You can easily change the words to make very funny lyrics. All the lyrics I came up with are R rated and tasteless so I’ll spare you.

It wasn’t like this when I was a kid, mom just kept me hopped up on potent cough syrup.

Grown up tv pick for tonight: Hitlers Search for The Holy Grail Hey, the Holy Grail and Hitler? How can you not watch. Usually I’d watch American Chopper instead but every episode is the same thing: Gotta get a bike done. Big Paul gets pissed.

Game of the moment: Escape The Crimson Room