Because no one asked

Because no one asked for it, here it is complete, the parody song I started in Tim’s article about his G5 troubles. Obviously it’s done to American Pie. If you don’t know this song, click the link. It’s one of the finest songs of it’s time. With apologies to Don McLean…sorry Don.

The Day the G5 died

A long, long time ago
I can still remember
How that G5 used to make me smile
And if given one more chance
I’d back up the data and make the keyboard dance
And maybe it would be happy for awhile
But October the disk did quiver
No utilities could deliver
Bad drive on my desktop
It was now a doorstop
I can remember that I cried
When I realized the Hard Drive’s fried
No help from booting in OS/9
The day the G5 died
So’¦

Refrain
So, Bye, bye to my awesome G5
My cheese grater, see you later
Cause the hard drive is fried
Those MS boys still using Win 95
Singing, “This’ll be the day your drive dies.
This’ll be the day your drive dies.

Did you write the book of Steve?
Do you have faith in his black sleeves?
If the Genius tells you so
Do you believe in Target mode?
Hold down the “C” key if you’re bold
And can you teach me Unix reeaaal slow?
Well, I know the drive is cooked real bad
Loss of data makes me mad
I tried about every trick
I even used that good old FSCK! (Um, sounds with fisk)
I was a lonely thirty some hacking geek
With a pen protector I’m a coding freak
But I knew it was not my week
The day the G5 died
I started singing

(Refrain)

Now for twenty years, we’ve been on our own
With computers never home grown
But that’s how it’s always been
When Bill Gates sang for the two Steves
We didn’t know what he had up his sleeve
It was code that he stole from you and me
Oh, and while Apple was looking down
MS stole the marketshare crown
The courtroom was adjourned
The MS verdict was returned
While UNIX was just off the mark
The Mac OS was considered a lark
We cried “FOUL!” in the dark
The day the G5 died
We were screaming

(Refrain)

Helter Skelter the Beatles were intrusive
The Byrds flew off with an iTunes exclusive
Eight Miles High and selling fast
It landed foul in the courts
Paul and Yoko tried to claim a tort
With Ringo on the sidelines with Barbara Bach
On LimeWire there was 60s tunes
Sgt Pepper played and he crooned
We all got up to dance
But the catalog never had a chance
Napster tried to take some share
But the iPod wouldn’t play its wares
Do you recall the Real scare
The day the G5 died
Glaser was singing

(Refrain)

In Boston we were all in one place
A MacWorld that seemed lost in space
IDC needs to try again
So come on, Steve be nimble, Steve be quick
In an arena near the Candlestick
MS Office is the devil’s only friend
And as I watched him on that tube
My hopes were that Jobs wasn’t being a boob
No iMac bought online
Could break ol Gatey’s spine
And as our shares sank low into the night
MS profits rose out of site
I saw Bill Gates laughing with delight
The day the G5 died
Bill was singing

(Refrain)

I met a man who made shareware
I asked him what he was working on there
He just smiled and turned away
I went on down to the Apple Store
Where I heard iTunes play before
But the genius said the music wouldn’t play
And in the stores the MacHeads screamed
User Groups cried and the geeks did beam
But no code was ever written
The agreements all were smitten
And the three guys I admired that day
Jobs, Woz, and Raskin
They caught the last plane to Taipei
The day the G5 died And they were singing

Bye, bye to my awesome G5
My cheese grater see you later
Cause the hard drive was fried
Those MS guys still running Win 95
Singing this’ll be the day your drive dies
This’ll be the day your drive dies.

Thank yew, thank yew verra much