When Jack Broke Bread With The Giant


When Jack Broke Bread With The Giant
(Were The Apples For Dessert?)
Lots has happened since Jack first broke bread with the Giant last August; some good, some bad.

The upside? Well, in addition to a quick shot of cash, Apple saw an actual profit for a change and the stock market obviously thinks Steve is doing something right. Even the media seems more aware of Apple’s existence, due to our high-profile non-CEO. Then there are those spiffy ads seen coast to coast. And, as a result of that high-level lunch, we have Office ’98 which, if it doesn’t overload your System Folder, is, by all accounts, worth forking over some bread for.

And the downside? A lot of good folks and good products bit the dust in a very short time. It may have been necessary, it may have been business, but they were all a part of our Mac world and we wish them well.


When Jack Broke Bread With The GiantJack stood at the foot of the Redmond Tree
His coffers were running low
And everyone said his tree was dead
There was only one way to go… UP

So up Jack climbed to the top of the tree
He banged on the Giant’s door
Hey, Big Guy, come out play with me
He was met with a giant roar

Fee Fie Foe Fum
I smell the pong of Appledom
Be he alive or be he dead
(A rumor that was widely spread)
I’ll grind his seeds to make my bread

Hey Man! Said Jack. Pray just hang loose
I’m bringing back the Golden Goose
The one that laid the Golden Egg
Oh poor Jack! How it hurt to beg
As he bowed to the Giant with a bend in his leg

So Jack sold back the Golden Goose
(Was it really his to sell?)
And with bits of gold from the Giant’s hold
They sealed a deal – but none could tell
Should they ring the peal – or sound the knell
Or simply bid a sad farewell

Old enemies suddenly now new friends
New friends must bite the dust
Is this the way the story ends?
A tale of lost promises, loyalties and trust

Fee Fie Foe Fum
Apples and Eggs to Kingdom Come
Be he alive or be he dead
Across the Web the Mac Heads said
Has Jack sold our soul to make his bread?

eMate’s Lament

Oh Where and Oh Where has my eMate gone
Oh where, oh where can it be
With its snazzy green case
I’ve got egg on my face
Apple what are you doing to me?

I told the Board and the parents as well
With Apple they’d never go wrong
But then Apple said, “Hey, your eMate is dead!”
Oh where, oh where has it gone

We bought up a gross just to keep us ahead
Of technology in our new school
But then Apple said, “Hey, your eMate is dead!”
Bless me, I feel such a fool

The Board really wanted some Windows instead
But I begged and pleaded and cried
And then Apple said, “Hey, your eMate is dead!”
Should have stuck with ‘Intel Inside’

I must meet with the School Board just one more time
Say Steve, my job’s on the line
And I’m shaking with fear
Cause the Board made it clear
When Apple said, “Your eMate is dead!”
So too was this old job of mine

Limerick Corner

So much for the darkside. Let there be light. And some of the brightest light of late has been the new Apple Ads from Chiat Day. Here are a couple of limericks to celebrate these ads along with a third from faithful My Mac reader, John Culp, who puts Windows right where it belongs. Thanks John for letting us share your work. Following John is a sprightly set of Computer Haiku courtesy of Salon Magazine and their very talented contestants.


Bunnies and BytesIn an ad seen from coast to coast
Apple made the most of their boast
With some insight from Byte
And to our great delight
They left that poor Pentium toast

Chips on the Half-Shell

There once was a chip on a snail
Moving ever so slow down the trail
To speed up his crawl
Give Chiat a call
To light a fire under his tail

The “Doomsday Scenario”
By John Culp

A second-rate O.S. named Windows
Succeeded through false innuendoes.
If Apple goes under
Through executive blunder,
We’d do better to stick with Nintendoes!

Haiku From Salon
No, not Ceylon! ‘Salon’

These are some of the marvelous Haiku from a contest held by Salon Magazine http://www.salonmagazine.com last January. We weren’t the only ones to think so. The winners soon found their works displayed on sites across the Web. Not a bad thing, but the writers’ names had been stripped from their works and no credit was given to Salon for holding the contest. Thanks to Scott Rosenberg and the contest winners, I have been able to choose a few of the Haiku that I especially enjoyed for the May ‘Out of the AppleCart’. To read the rest of the collection-and they are all a delight-check out the original site. Hope they put as much sparkle in your day as they did in mine.


‘Haiku Error Messages’

Of Webs & Windows 

Joy Rothke

The Web site you seek

cannot be located but

endless others existRik Jespersen

Server’s poor response

Not quick enough for browser.

Timed out, plum blossom.

Francis Heaney

Out of memory.

We wish to hold the whole sky,

But we never will.

Chris Walsh
Seeing my great fault
Through darkening blue windows

I begin again Suzie Wagner
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

Margaret Segall
Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working
Windows is like that



Susan Howerter

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