Jack stood at the foot of the Redmond Tree
His coffers were running low
And everyone said his tree was dead
There was only one way to go... UP

So up Jack climbed to the top of the tree
He banged on the Giant's door
Hey, Big Guy, come out play with me
He was met with a giant roar

Fee Fie Foe Fum
I smell the pong of Appledom
Be he alive or be he dead
(A rumor that was widely spread)
I'll grind his seeds to make my bread

Hey Man! Said Jack. Pray just hang loose
I'm bringing back the Golden Goose
The one that laid the Golden Egg
Oh poor Jack! How it hurt to beg
As he bowed to the Giant with a bend in his leg

So Jack sold back the Golden Goose
(Was it really his to sell?)
And with bits of gold from the Giant's hold
They sealed a deal - but none could tell
Should they ring the peal - or sound the knell
Or simply bid a sad farewell

Old enemies suddenly now new friends
New friends must bite the dust
Is this the way the story ends?
A tale of lost promises, loyalties and trust

Fee Fie Foe Fum
Apples and Eggs to Kingdom Come
Be he alive or be he dead
Across the Web the Mac Heads said
Has Jack sold our soul to make his bread?

eMate's Lament

Oh Where and Oh Where has my eMate gone
Oh where, oh where can it be
With its snazzy green case
I've got egg on my face
Apple what are you doing to me?

I told the Board and the parents as well
With Apple they'd never go wrong
But then Apple said, "Hey, your eMate is dead!"
Oh where, oh where has it gone

We bought up a gross just to keep us ahead
Of technology in our new school
But then Apple said, "Hey, your eMate is dead!"
Bless me, I feel such a fool

The Board really wanted some Windows instead
But I begged and pleaded and cried
And then Apple said, "Hey, your eMate is dead!"
Should have stuck with 'Intel Inside'

I must meet with the School Board just one more time
Say Steve, my job's on the line
And I'm shaking with fear
Cause the Board made it clear
When Apple said, "Your eMate is dead!"
So too was this old job of mine

In an ad seen from coast to coast
Apple made the most of their boast
With some insight from Byte
And to our great delight
They left that poor Pentium toast

Chips on the Half-Shell

There once was a chip on a snail
Moving ever so slow down the trail
To speed up his crawl
Give Chiat a call
To light a fire under his tail

The "Doomsday Scenario"
By John Culp

A second-rate O.S. named Windows
Succeeded through false innuendoes.
If Apple goes under
Through executive blunder,
We'd do better to stick with Nintendoes!