The Adventures of MacWoman

"Rats... where's the cape? Rats..." pawing thru the laundry basket that Saturday morning. The ratty plaid bathrobe just didn't seem regal enough. "Rats, cats, gnats..."

Of course, I'd already had the coffee (the market had been out of my first and second favorite kinds for several weeks... is this a Y2K thingy?), read the local news (the arrest reports and the obituaries; no one I knew on either count), fed the dogs, and watered the plants. I only briefly thought about vacuuming. 'Twas but a fleeting thought.

So all this said and done I wandered into the closet and tried to put a MacWoman costume together... something worthy of an OS upgrade.

Have I introduced you to Anais yet? Probably not. (Where ARE my manners?) Anais came to live with me in December. She's a 7600 PowerMac with a G3 upgrade, and lovely as the day is long. I spent one long weekend with all three of my Macs opened up, Elcie, Moo, and Anais. Borrowing the battery from Elcie (once again) to put into Anais. Running Moo on the Internet to stay connected with my gurus while replacing the processor in Anais. Moving RAM between Moo and Anais. Copying files and programs from Moo to Meow (the external hard drive) to be used on Anais. Start up, copy, shut down, plug into Anais, start up, copy, trash to make room for more, shut down, etc... the weekend was long but well worth it. It was an all-Anais weekend.

That Sunday evening I lovingly packed Moo in bubble wrap to send to his next owner. I cried real tears. It was akin to losing my childhood, having the training wheels taken off the bike. I wasn't afraid to dig and dive into Moo; after all, he'd been rebuilt from the start. Moo was where I learned about hardware, one of my passions. Moo now lives on in the home of an older gentleman in Washington state, connecting him to the Internet and the world. (Long live Moo.)

While the idea of owning a graphite G4 with a cinema display is titillating to me, in my heart I love these older machines. Sappy, sentimental me. I have a theory about working beyond my capabilities. I didn't go for speed until I found that I was actually working faster than the computer, getting impatient. Plodding along like a plowhorse, I till the fields of knowledge one heavy step at a time.

The PowerMacs I've owned came with the OS installed, but no software CD. I found an 8.5.1 on eBay and purchased it for $25. Anais, you see, came with 8.0 and I was used to 8.5 on Moo. I missed the tear off menu and Sherlock, and the platinum sounds. So this Saturday morning I screwed up my courage and prepared for my first OS upgrade. While I've become fairly comfortable with hardware, software still scares the bejeezus out of me. Hence the need for the MacWoman costume, and its secret powers.

I found my "iMac, iWrite, iParty" t-shirt that I got at the author's party at MacWorld, clean and hanging in my closet. That was a good start. I shrugged this on and pawed thru my pile of tights... ah, the shiny black ones. Good. Then soft black socks, and my black leather knee high boots. My favorite grey miniskirt. Almost ready, but where's the darn cape? The laundry basked yielded no surprises. Tearing thru the hangers in my closet I found a purple shawl with the moon and stars scattered about. I pinned it in place with the old rhinestone circle pin that belonged to someone's great grandmother at one time. It was a little bent from years of use, but served the purpose nonetheless. A little gold glitter in the hair, and MacWoman emerged from the bedroom ready to go. Let no software daunt me! Able to leap tall upgrades in a single bound!

Well, not quite. I sat in front of Anais for a while, whimpering to myself, putting off the inevitable, getting over my fear, fingering the plastic case the OS disk was in. I spent about fifteen minutes in the "what if" mode. Made more coffee, just 'cause I didn't think I was jittery enough already. Then I remembered I was MacWoman, dressed for the part, and I sternly berated myself for procrastinating. Pulling my magical cape tighter around me, I bravely inserted the CD and chose "restart" from the special menu, with my glitter-nailed finger on "C" as instructed.

So far, so good. The CD hummed in Anais and shortly I had the prompt screen up. I followed the instructions as presented, chickened out on the clean install (maybe next time), and got to where it asked me where I wanted to install the OS. Meow was the only option it gave. I couldn't find Anais. What the?????? I hit cancel and restarted on 8.0. Yes, Anais was there. I logged on to AIM, hoping against hope that one of my gurus would be on as well. (Who besides me sits in front of their computers all weekend long?) But my MacWoman costume with the secret powers didn't let me down. Before too long Jimbo appeared.

"What's the deal here?" I quickly typed in the IM box. I pounded out the problem in as few words as possible.

"Hello, Beth" Jimbo responded. Aack! Where WERE my manners?

After my hello's and our how are you's, Jimbo asked a few simple questions and I ran "drive set up" from the CD. Now how was I supposed to know that? (Maybe from the "read me" file? Duh.) OK, shut down again, start up with "C," prompt menu, skillfully bypassing the clean install option once again (there are some things the MacWoman costume can't overcome) and voilą! There was Anais, waiting patiently for her upgrade.

At this point, MacWoman needed music. What would be suitable and fitting for an OS upgrade? Since the CD was in use for the OS disk, I had to fall back on my old cassette player and tapes. Van Morrison again; Moondance. I have this thing for saxophones. They rock my gypsy soul.

I sat back down at Anais, music filling my mind, and without even thinking about it, I selected the button which would install 8.5.1 on my hard drive. I sat back to wait. I didn't have to wait long. It was suggested that I restart my computer in order for the software to work. OK, I was feeling pretty cocky at this point, so I did exactly what it told me to. (My momma raised an obedient child.)

Restart. Chime! Welcome to OS 8.5, and a happy face. Yippee! I did it! I quickly logged on and proudly emailed all my gurus and told them that I uh big gurl now. It was suggested in a response that I download 8.6 from the Apple site and immediately upgrade. OK! No problem! MacWoman can do that! There is no OS upgrade that could daunt me now.

I went to the Apple website, selected the download, and... what the ???? Two friggin' hours? Patience is not a flower that grows in every garden, but what choice did I have? I decided to do the marketing and pick up the mail while I waited.

I grabbed my bag, my sunglasses, and jumped in Hank, my pickup truck. (I haven't named my washer, dryer, or refrigerator. I do draw the anthropomorphizing line at some point. Besides, I haven't thought of good names yet.) I drove to the post office to check my box, and was a little taken aback by the obvious stares of folks. Then across the parking lot to the market. More stares. Jeez, hadn't these people ever seen a SuperGeek before?

Back home, more wait, more music, a little dancing just 'cause the download was complete. This time I didn't have to email for help. I selected the correct options, again skillfully bypassing the clean install option (boy, I'm getting good at that!).

Now Anais has 8.6 running and I'm happy. I like it. The MacWoman costume is hanging in the closet, waiting for the next time. And sappy, sentimental me, I just have to say, I love my Mac. Like a pair of comfy slippers and a ratty old bathrobe I slip her on each morning and night, and say hello to the world. One of these days I might decide on graphite and OS X, if and when. But for now, the comfort of my older machine is just what MacWoman wants and needs. Think beige.

Anais, you be so cool
playing with you
is like going to school.

The things that I learn
day in and day out
I dance in joy, and brag and shout

Thru the Internet
to all my friends
I'm a SuperGeek now!

MacWoman does it again.

Until next month... be well, my brothers and sisters.