| Issue #64/Aug. '00 |
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By Mick O'Neil
The ship's bridge was abuzz with activity. On the aft side, several crew members pored over manuals trying to reinstall communications software, while astern, Commander Warp worked on assembly code for a new Pong game to be introduced on the 'Holideck.'
Dozing off in his recliner on the bridge, the Captain waited for yet another computer glitch to be ironed out that would allow him to resume communications with StarFleet Command. First Officer Striker addressed Ensign Flusher. (Note: 'Flusher' was a nickname given to Ensign Gross for causing a mess by not attending to the final details in the shuttle's weightless bathroom facilities.)
"Ensign Flusher, set in a course to Starbase 11."
Flusher looked over at BOB and as if to prove a point:
"BOB, er, what are the coordinates of Starbase 11?"
Treanna, the ship's counselor and a trapezoid, noted the rising tension among the crew. Trapezoids could not only read emotions, but also knew instantly when members of the crew were 'distracted'. She enjoyed wearing her uniforms one size too small and then scanning the bridge to measure her impact. Lately, her impact was negligible and Treanna concluded it was time to talk to the Captain about the crew's other distractions.
She walked over to the Captain's chair, leaned down, and whispered,
Upon entering his quarters, the Captain asked the counselor to have a seat, went to the food dispenser and ordered "Tea, Earl Grey, two cups" The dispenser console responded, "Tea, Earl Grey, two cups" and then "Missing UKTEA.DLL, please insert disk containing that file." Jean Louis closed his eyes and sighed...
"That's exactly what we need to talk about Captain," said Treanna. "I sense that you and the crew are becoming emotionally strung out by all of the shipboard errors."
At that very minute, as if on cue, R appeared. R was a creature from the R Continuum who had visited the ship on previous occasions just when things had gotten really dull. He was dressed in what appeared to be late 20th Century Earth clothes and was sitting in one of Jean Louis's chairs with his feet up on the dining room table.
"What are you doing here," asked the Captain is some disgust, "And take your feet off my table."
At that point, the Gateshead was transported through space and time to Earth orbit in the late 20th Century.
"R, exactly what are we doing here?' asked the Captain.
And with that last piece of information R disappeared into thin air, as it were.
Wolf Mutter sat at the game table poring over his Scrabble pieces. Directly across from him sat his eight year old sister Asthmantha. 'Asty' as Wolf was fond of calling her, was a mean Scrabble player. In fact, though Wolf was a full four years older, he had never beaten his little sister at any board game. This game was close and Asty had seven letters left. Wolf had only four. If Asty couldn't use her letters, the points would be deducted from her score and Wolf would be sure to win. He was noticeably excited.
Wolf studied his four tiles: an F, two O's, and an M, while Asty hummed some 'silly song she learned in Music class. Wolf was sure she had the high scoring 'Q' and perhaps an 'X' that she couldn't use.
He looked at Asty and said, "It's your move and if you can't play any letters the game is over and I win."
Just as Asty began to respond, an incredible thing happened. Over a period of about two seconds and accompanied by the strangest sound, Asty seemed to fade into thin air. Wolf could hardly believe it. His emotions ran the gamut from fear to disbelief and denial to disappointment, and finally back to fear. He screamed at the top of his lungs, and only after this emotional release did he notice with some disgust that his four Scrabble tiles were also gone.
Wolf never got over that childhood loss -both the loss of his sister and his failure to collect his Scrabble win. These incidents were deeply disturbing. Subconsciously at first, and now consciously, Wolf pursued the truth. He spent his last several years as an FBI Agent exploring the world of the paranormal, inexplicable, and unbelievable and he had been joined in this mission by his somewhat skeptical partner, Nada Sulky. After all of those searches through countless lies and exaggerations, Wolf finally felt he was on the right trail.
It had all started with innocent speculation about the domination of the computer industry by one megalithic company -despite far superior technology offered by another, and it had almost ended with an attempt on Wolf and Nada's life on Highway 1 outside of the District. Fearing that their work and home computers were being monitored via the Internet, Sulky and Mutter stayed strictly off-line. Using special contingency funds, the Why Files office hired college students around the country to do research and to FedEx it back to their office. On Tuesday evening of the week following the attempted murder, Sulky stayed at the office sifting through data and attempting to piece together a profile of the 'Chairman.' Meanwhile, Mutter rushed to a last minute meeting with FATMAN in an underground Alexandria garage.
Mutter left his car, looked both ways, and walked gingerly toward the black Cadillac. He then did one more visual scan, opened the front right hand door, got in, and gently closed the door behind him. FATMAN, sitting in the driver's seat, never looked over. He seemed to be sweating profusely and Mutter glanced down at FATMAN's seatbelt lifting up and under his enormous belly. Mutter's gaze moved up to the outline of a snub-nosed Smith & Wesson Detective Special as it sat holstered on one of FATMAN's voluminous breasts.
FATMAN groaned "You're getting close, but your course needs some adjustment," and then breathed deeply.
As Mutter opened the door and began sliding out, FATMAN handed Mutter a small sticky note. Mutter pocketed the note, hurried to his car, and watched the Cadillac drive off at high speed.
Upon his return to the office, Sulky quizzed Mutter about his meeting.
"I don't know... FATMAN said we were getting close but implied that our 'course needed some adjustment,'" answered Mutter.
Mutter pulled out the yellow stickie and was shocked to see four letters F, O, O, and M - the same letters, he explained to Sulky, that had disappeared from his Scrabble game with his sister. He looked again at the note and confirmed that for the very first time, he had an actual lead to his sister's fate.
"Sulky, there's no one else on this planet who knew about those letters. I feel like it's finally coming together."
That Wednesday afternoon, Sulky and Mutter showed for their appointment with the 'acting' Apple CEO at the Secret Research and Development Lab at Apple's Cupertino headquarters. The two were ushered through several security checks, forced to check their weapons, and finally were accompanied to what appeared to be an ultra-secure area through iron-reinforced doors. Mutter immediately noticed the subtle clang of the doors as they slammed shut.
The Venetian blinds on the hall window had been left open but otherwise they were bathed in artificial light. Mutter just caught the glimpse of a balding fat-joweled man in a rumpled black suit and bare feet hustling through open doors to a helipad. The security guard tried to hamper his view, closed the blinds, and then proceeded down the hallway to what appeared to be a vacated receptionist's desk. The guard ushered Sulky and Mutter into a small waiting room and told them they'd be seen very soon.
"Mutter, what do you think's going on?" asked Sulky as she glanced at a bulletin board covered with outtakes from the company's advertising campaigns.
Their conversation was interrupted by a loud noise down the hall that sounded like a dog bark but was much louder and sort of muffled at the same time.
Mutter felt an enormous rush of adrenaline. He felt so flushed he could hardly breathe. The four letter tiles that had disappeared so long ago linked inextricably to the creature approaching their room.
By now the sound was a deafening "MOOF... MOOF" and both Sulky and Mutter backed away from the door. Perhaps in shock, Mutter appeared frozen by fear and an overwhelming sense of sadness and loss. Sulky looked frantically around the room for a weapon.
...to be continued... 
Mick O'Neil (mickoneil@mymac.com)
Websites mentioned:
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The Gateshead had been exploring the Strata-9 Galactic Ring for some time now and the crew was ready for a break having just completed an in-depth spectral analysis of several binary systems collapsing towards Strata-8. It was tedious work that was exacerbated by the continuing failure of BOB, their WIN2240 based android, and the intermittent failure of many of the ship's onboard systems. The two RESTWIN specialists were putting in 20 hour days and Jean Louis, the ship's Captain, knew this couldn't go on much longer. He was assured by Derek, the Data Chief on Starbase 11, that WIN2241 was a vast improvement over WIN2240 and although the final release of the operating system had been delayed, it would be possible to load a beta version once the Gateshead came into station.