Claris Em@iler Companion
by Tom Dell
AP Professional (Claris Press)
<http://www.apnet.com/approfessional>
ISBN 0-12-208865-4, 293 pages
$27.95 U.S.

With this book, we welcome AP Professional to our distinguished list of computer book publishers. They have sent several additional titles, which I will be reviewing soon. I should hurry, because Em@iler, or Emailer, is now an orphan, having been cast adrift by Apple during its recent consolidation. The application is still a darn good one, and deserves a solid book of its own.

The original printed manual for Emailer is slim and concise, because the program is fairly easy to learn and use, and contains an extensive companion Help application. When I was first learning to use Emailer, though, I really could have used Claris Em@iler Companion!

If you are still stumbling through Emailer’s many built-in options and commands, do yourself a favor and take a good look at this book. Every user of Claris Emailer should be able to become fully proficient (dare I say “power-user”?) after a few months, from my personal experience.

Where are we headed? It appears that Eudora has moved into permanent first place in the Macintosh email client race, but I know of many dedicated Emailer users who value its few unique features and ease of operation.

I must mention Chapter Seven: “Customizing Claris Emailer,” in which readers can become familiar with the program’s many advanced features, from Preferences to Apple Script capabilities. The bulk of the book systematically covers each component of Emailer, from “How Email Works” and a detailed “Getting Started” chapter, through everything else the powerful application offers. The book is loaded with helpful screen shots, and is written from a friendly first-person perspective. RECOMMENDED.

Internet Bible
by Brian Underdahl and Edward Willett
IDG Books Worldwide
<http://www.idgbooks.com>
ISBN 0-7645-3216-2, 1046 pages
$39.99 U.S., $56.99 Canada, £36.99 U.K.

I am going to use my comments on this excellent book to let off a little steam, so please bear with me.

This Internet Bible is truly outstanding in many ways. Every current aspect of the Net is covered thoroughly and thoughtfully. The text and illustrations are right on the mark.

You name it: getting connected, all about email, browser bonanza, Web searching, creating Web pages, and much more; all are here. A 100-page Web Directory covers recommended URLs, ranging from Acting and Agriculture to Weather and Web Page Design. Are you familiar with <http://www.webpagesthatsuck.com>? Give the URL a whirl.

What’s my gripe? Since I can’t find anything wrong with this bible, should I look for blemishes beneath the skin?

I am really getting irritated with top-quality books from my favorite publishers that DON’T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE THAT THE MACINTOSH PLATFORM EXISTS! Granted that the back of the book specifies System Requirements: Windows ad nauseum; really, friends, is it too much to ask, in this increasingly cross-platform world, to give Apple a little nod once in a while?

Let’s speculate: there are somewhere around 100 million Internet users, in one form or another, throughout the world, and between 10 and 20 MILLION OF THEM use the Mac on a regular or irregular basis. In my book, that means a lot of potential customers for this book, don’t you think?

Departing from my customary impartial approach, I hereby go public:

The Mac is here to stay. Macintosh users buy books. Include us, and we will make it worth your while. Thank you.

Whew. I feel much better now.

Internet Bible is not worth $40 U.S., readers, because you can’t use the CD in your Macintosh. But, if you have a close friend, relative, or co-worker who knows which way the Windoze blows, encourage this person to buy the book and leave it laying around your desk, so you can benefit from the wisdom and experience of the authors. ‘Nuff said?

Brian Underdahl provided the following comments, for the benefit of our Book Bytes readers.

John:

At least you acknowledge the value of the Internet Bible. The
unfortunate reality, however, is that while we would like to give full
coverage to everything, we just don’t have the room. I had enough
material that four of the chapters had to be moved to the CD-ROM, and
we had far more software than we could fit on a single disc. Yes, I
ended up having to cut some very good material—including some Mac
stuff.

If you feel bad consider how Intel and Philips must feel. Intel provided
me with several thousands of dollars in engineering samples but we had
to drop that material (well, move it to the CD, really). Philips provided a
digital camera, suffered the same fate as Intel, and then dropped their
marketing plans for the unit.

I honestly feel that the CD-ROM is a nice side benefit but certainly only
a small part of the reason for buying the Internet Bible. A large
percentage of the written material applies to all platforms. Sure, you
might have to download a Mac version of some of the software, but
that’s not a real hardship anymore.

What’s more important is the care and effort that went into providing
extremely useful information about all aspects of the Internet. I’d hate to
see that aspect lost simply because we couldn’t include everything we
wanted to on the CD-ROM.

I hope you can understand that even as the author or co-author of over
50 computer-related books, I guess I’ll just have to put up with trying to
stuff 1500 pages of material into 1000 pages, and 1+ GB of software
onto a 650MB CD-ROM.

Please don’t be hard on IDG. The conditions I mentioned are
industry-wide and I think IDG does the best of any of the publishers
I’ve worked with over the years.

Brian

Thank you, Brian and IDG. We appreciate your candor and professionalism here at Book Bytes.

Photoshop for the Web
<http://photoshop.webreview.com>
by Mikkel Aaland O’Reilly & Associates
<http://www.oreilly.com>
ISBN 1-56592-350-2, 197 pages
$29.95 U.S.

The author is a knowledgeable photographer, and brings a fresh perspective to the deep waters of Photoshop books. His tips and techniques are focused (excuse the pun) and functional. For instance, have you encountered the “dreaded halo syndrome”? Quite possibly. Aaland deserves a halo for his treatment of this annoying “unwanted, hard-edged effect,” and much more. He knows Photoshop inside out, and how to maximize it for Web creation.

I enjoyed following his personal examples from start to finish, such as: “For my web site, Val Stambaugh turned a color photograph to grayscale as a background. Since she gave me the task of preparing the photograph, I followed these steps …. Although the background turns blotchy when viewed on an 8-bit monitor, I am very happy with the results.”

His writing style is clear and relaxed, which will assist readers in following the exact step-by-step instructions and procedures for creating with Photoshop. The pages in Photoshop for the Web vary in design, which adds to the visual interest of the book. In format, many of the margins contain illustrations or sidebars, and others are wide and blank. Is he thinking that “creative types” might want to doodle and sketch? That’s reasonable.

I was starting to become irritated that this book has so few color illustrations, all bunched together in the center, but then I noticed the URL for color versions of every graphic. This dedicated Web site is speedy and colorful, and I applaud the author and publisher.

Mikkel Aaland knows Macintosh, and uses the Mac as his primary platform, with appropriate references to Windows when needed. He utilizes the participation of over 20 outstanding contributors, and references the email address, or URL, for each of them.

I am learning that $40.00 U.S. is the magic number for books covering computer graphics and design topics. At a 25 percent savings, Photoshop for the Web is good value. I RECOMMEND this book for anyone wanting to make the most out of the “photo” aspect in Photoshop.

Elements of Web Design:
The Designer’s Guide to a New Medium,
Second Edition
by Darcy Dinucci <darcy@tothepoint.com>
with Maria Giudice <maria@hotstudio.com>
& Lynne Stiles <lynne@chezhank.com>
Peachpit Press
<http://www.peachpit.com>
ISBN 0-201-69698-3, 238 pages
$39.95 U.S., $55.95 Canada

Every few months, a book appears in my Book Bytes in-basket that stops me in my tracks. Elements of Web Design: The Designer’s Guide to a New Medium is such a book. This wonderful new edition of a fine earlier book was so stimulating that it inspired me to establish an annual Best of Book Bytes award program, which is discussed in my Nemo Memo column this month.

Let’s get the corrective-criticism over with:

1. The sans-serif type is too small for aging eyes.

2. It would be nice to have a “Sources” section, providing fax/voice/email/URL info for the many credited designers.

Shall we move on to the praise?

A. Design is this book’s hallmark, on every attractive, informative page.

B. Glossary items are defined, page by page, when pertinent to the topic under discussion. The Glossary itself is top-notch.

C. This book is *very* Mac-centric, and handles cross-platform concerns effortlessly.

D. The illustrations and examples are of the highest quality, and are printed beautifully.

E. Appendix page references are used ideally, linking the HTML code and browser version information to the pages in the book where they are applied.

F. The overall approach appeals both to younger and more mature minds. I don’t know how the authors pulled this off, but they did.

G. The physical pages are large, and horizontal, allowing for a loose columnar structure in which text, illustrations, headings, tips, URLs, and quite a bit more all fit comfortably.

H. The many quotes from respected designers are worth pasting on the wall of your office, in 72 point type, such as: “When I first started designing for the Web, I had to totally change my attitude about the work. I was used to print, where I would get this moment of relief when I had the final product in my hands. But on the Web you’re never done.” (Sabine Messner, HotWired)

On a personal note, I consider Elements of Web Design: The Designer’s Guide to a New Medium to contain sufficient varied material to inspire and keep me busy for an entire year. The authors’ approach is a free-flowing interactive, creative time line, which the readers can work through at their own paces.

I’m going out on a limb with all this praise. Elements of Web Design is equal to Peachpit’s Wow! series, which I have previously reviewed. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

Darcy Dinucci adds, via email:

I’d love it if you’d mention that the book is meant to be an introduction to
Web design, providing an beginning to every aspect of the craft. We
wrote it for people who think they want to do Web design but don’t
know exactly what doing Web design entails.

By the time readers finish this book, we hope they feel confident
throwing around words like “plug-in,” “JavaScript,” and “Dynamic HTML”
— and know what all those things are for. And we hope, too, that they’re
inspired to do some Web design of their own.

P.S. You’re right: We’re Mac people. I guess the Mac-centrism just
sneaks in — though I had a PC person do a tech read to keep me
honest.

P.P.S. I just checked out your My Mac Magazine site, and now it’s a
new bookmark.

Thank you, Darcy.

HTML Artistry: More than Code
<http://www.htmlartistry.com>
by Ardith Ibañez and Natalie Zee
Macmillan/Hayden/New Riders
<http://www.mcp.com>
ISBN 1-56830-454-4, 286 pages
$40.00 U.S., $57.95 Canada, £36.99 U.K.

The keywords here are “artistry” and “code.” This unusual book is aimed toward experienced, creative, imaginative website designers; “no plug-ins or fancy CGI scripts” are used.

Real world examples are used extensively, both from Web-based designs and non-Internet media. Interviews and profiles of top-notch creative artists add plenty of flavor and insight to the text. The authors’ own professional work is utilized for demonstration purposes, and they really know their stuff.

Where to begin? How about with the essentials of type, which are well-explained in Chapter Three. Readers receive detailed explanations of which fonts work where and when, on both platforms and on all browsers. Color theory, which can be really tricky, is handled in a separate, excellent chapter.

The first part covers classic HTML, and the second part digs deeply into Dynamic HTML, or DHTML, including profuse info on:

• layers

• cascading style sheets

• animation.

HTML Artistry: More than Code is thoughtfully-designed, with taupe Tips and blue Notes scattered throughout the text and illustrations. URLs are listed at end of each chapter for the sites mentioned. The authors who co-created the book included tasteful color and graphics. HTML code is presented in blue, for easy reading and transcribing. The three appendices cover HTML, cross-browser DHTML, and style sheet reference lists.

Is this colorful and attractive book worth $40.00 (or more, if purchased outside the U.S.)? The answer is yes, but only if readers are prepared to do their homework, and apply the lessons in HTML Artistry: More than Code on a continuing basis. If you fit this profile, locate the book and see for yourself. RECOMMENDED.

How to BOSS your Fonts Around, 2nd Edition
by Robin Williams
<http://www.ratz.com>
Peachpit Press
<http://www.peachpit.com>
ISBN 0-201-69640-1, 188 pages
$16.95 U.S., $23.95 Canada

This is a little book containing a ton of practical information. Robin begins How to BOSS your Fonts Around with “If you actually read this book I guarantee you will be in total control” of your power struggle with fonts, and she means business. The early chapters are filled with essential information most people never learn, and should be required reading for all serious Macintoshers.

Her many examples are terrific, and truly enhance the informative text. If you ever were confused regarding PostScript, QuickDraw, Bitmapped, TrueType, or ATM fonts, you will soon have a firm grip on these topics, in sensible detail. For me, the first section, “Font Technology,” is more of a dynamic reference book: read, remember, review.

When necessary, she offers firm, gentle imperatives, such as “There is one important rule to remember: do not keep two typefaces with the same name in your computer; that is, do not store TrueType Times and PostScript Times in your computer or you are asking for trouble.”

Chapter Eleven, “How to Organize Your Fonts,” is worth the entire cost of the book, for readers who follow the author’s advice. The next chapters detail font management software and utilities, again with screen shots and graphics galore. The book concludes with a troubleshooting guide and a list of font vendors. The Glossary is worth memorizing, covering, in 33 pages, every imaginable font topic. Do you know what a “virgule” is? Ha! Turn to page 176.

Robin Williams’ writing sparkles. Gee, I wish I could write as well as she does! The book is well-designed, with selective use of bold italics for emphasis.

How much is there to know on the subject of fonts and font-management? Plenty! Unless you are already an expert, you will become one after reading and using How to BOSS your Fonts Around. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

Microsoft Office 98 for Macintosh,
Visual QuickStart Guide
by Dan Henderson
<dhenderson@aol.com>
Peachpit Press
<http://www.peachpit.com>
ISBN 0-201-35351-2, 283 pages
$18.95 U.S., $26.95 Canada

Is there an echo around here, or some sort of deja vu? Why am I thinking about IDG’s Office 98 Bible (reviewed recently here in Book Bytes) while perusing Peachpit’s similar title? I have been through a similar process several times, with predictable results. Keep reading.

The Visual QuickStart Guide’s task-based approach is very useful for newcomers to Office 98. In fact, the author presumes that his readers can begin with no knowledge whatsoever and still make the most out of Microsoft Office 98 for Macintosh. Experienced users will find the book helpful for expanding their range of skills. In fact, I wish all software came with manuals such as this book. Fat chance!

Let’s face it: Office 98 is a behemoth, which is why I am somewhat suspicious of this slim volume. Just the same, Henderson has ably identified the many features and functions in “O-98.” As in other books in this excellent Visual QuickStart series, inner columns are dedicated to illustrations and screen shots, with text and tips in the outer columns. I found the graphics particularly helpful when charts were being covered.

Office 98 is broken into its components, with step-by-step indexed sections. Very nice touch. The Word application receives more pages than do the other apps, which is sensible. I was surprised that after introducing the generic basics of O-98, Henderson began his tour of Office with a brief chapter on “Office and the Internet,” touching on the Web and email, but that’s no criticism.

Speaking of the beginning, the first two chapters are like Genesis, entitled: “Basic Macintosh Procedures” and “Essential Office Techniques.” Good thinking, Dan.

Microsoft Office 98 for Macintosh is well-suited to its audience of beginner and intermediate level users, and I hope it sells like wild. My suggestions to improve this book are to fill all that white space with more tips, tricks, techniques, and helpful graphics. The pressures of deadlines are substantial, but half-blank pages are wasted opportunities.

This Microsoft Office 98 for Macintosh book is very good value, and provides an opportunity for non-power users to become familiar with Office in a convenient, task-based manner. As to unfair comparisons the IDG Bible, forget ‘em. This book stands on its own, and I RECOMMEND it for the appropriate readers.

Real World Scanning and Halftones, 2nd Edition
<http://www.rwsh.com>
by David Blatner, Glenn Fleishman, and Steve Roth
<authors@rwsh.com>
Peachpit Press
<http://www.peachpit.com>
ISBN 0-201-69683-5, 388 pages
$29.95 U.S., $41.95 Canada

This book is one-of-a-kind, from my experience. It aims to be “the definitive guide to scanning and halftones for the desktop.” The writers claim: “We have no doubt that with all this information under your belt, in no time you’ll be roaring through the desktop-publishing jungles, scanner in one hand, imagesetter in the other — a true DTP professional.” That would be exciting!

When you have a moment, visit the dedicated website for the book, <http://www.rwsh.com>, to get a glimpse of the commitment the authors have for their readers. At this URL you can find the latest links and chapter resources, plus quite a bit more.

Real World Scanning and Halftones is divided into three parts: scanned images, halftones, and applications. Let’s take the final four chapters first, which briefly cover the major apps for image creation, illustration, page layout, and scanning, including: Photoshop, DeBabelizer, Illustrator, Freehand, PageMaker, QuarkXPress, and several more. Every chapter contains witty, insightful personal commentary from the team, such as: “The applications we still find most baffling are the programs that ship with scanners.”

Part One addresses the basics of scanning, from simple to sophisticated, including:

• bitmapped graphics and file formats

• image resolution and sharpness

• compression and images for the Web.

My favorite chapters in the scanner section are on color output, OCR, and Photo CD. We are advised: “How does the color get out of the monitor onto paper or film? The answer: very carefully.” Also: “Why is OCR so difficult? Can’t the computer just see the words? The answer, in a word, is No.”

Part Two, on halftones, is technical on an as-needed basis, when discussing:

• photographic versus digital publication

• more than you ever knew existed on the topic of “spots”

• stochastic screening (sounds scary, but it isn’t).

In addition, attractive color examples of every major concept are tucked into this part of the book, about the time I was getting really frustrated looking at black-and-white approximations. Other chapter titles include: Rosettes & Moirés, When Grids Collide, and Who Does the Halftone?

I came to Real World Scanning and Halftones with limited knowledge of either topic, and now I am starting to feel somewhat comfortable. The chapters are short and specific, and are referenced to one another. The chatty, friendly writing style enables new concepts to be handled in a warm-and-fuzzy manner.

This bi-platform book is useful, especially for beginning and intermediate users, and I certainly RECOMMEND it. For the price, I suggest many more color pages in the next edition, to be located appropriately among the corresponding topics.

Five More Basic Internet Books!!

After spending so much time reading and thinking about the Internet Bible, which receives a complete review this month in Book Bytes, I realized that there are many new books claiming to cover the entire Internet. As a bonus, here are five of them, with my capsule comments.

Using the Internet, Fourth Edition
by Barbara Kasser
Que Publications
<http://www.quecorp.com>
ISBN 0-7897-1584-8, 521 pages
$29.99 U.S., $42.95 Canada, £27.49 U.K.

Thorough and comprehensive, but a bit too heavy on Microsoft and Windows for my taste.

Internet in a Nutshell
by Valeria Quercia
O’Reilly & Associates
<http://www.oreilly.com>
ISBN 1-56592-323-5, 430 pages
$19.95 U.S., $28.95 Canada

A bit “techie,” which I like, but insufficient graphics for readers unfamiliar with the look and feel of the Net.

Internet for Dummies, Fifth Edition
by John R. Levine, Carol Baroudi,
and Margaret Levine Young
Dummies Press
<http://www.dummies.com>
ISBN 0-7645-0354-5, 376 pages
$19.99 U.S., $28.99 Canada, £18.99 U.K.

For beginners, excellent in every way. This topic is perfectly suited to the Dummies approach.

More Internet for Dummies, Fourth Edition
by John Levine and Margaret Levine Young
Dummies Press
<http://www.dummies.com>
ISBN 0-7645-0369-3, 384 pages
$22.99 U.S., $33.99 Canada, £21.99 U.K.

If you are prepared to spend the money to buy both books in this Internet for Dummies series, you should probably purchase a better intermediate-advanced title, such as IDG’s Internet Bible, reviewed in Book Bytes this month.

Sams’ Teach Yourself the Internet in 24 Hours, Starter Kit
by Ned Snell
Sams Publishing
<http://www.samspublishing.com>
ISBN 1-57521-402-4, 405 pages plus CD
$24.99 U.S., $35.95 Canada, £23.50 U.K.

Sensible book for beginners and intermediates. The 24-lesson concept is effective.

•John Nemerovski• <nemo@mymac.com>

The WhyFiles: A Secret Held in Plasticine

Gateshead Revisited

The situation aboard the Gateshead was tense. ‘R’ had promised that if the ship transported Wolf’s sister, Asthmantha, aboard, he would be so profoundly affected by the abduction, that he would dedicate his life to uncovering a late 20th Century alien conspiracy. Exposing the alien invasion would in turn prevent Macrosoft from dominating the Earth’s fledgling computer industry and result in a more logical evolution of computing and artificial intelligence. ‘R’ had also confided to the Captain that the invasion of Earth had been initiated by the ‘Gorb’ (A horrible race that were characterized by their rotund stomachs, balding pates, and a homely birthmark on the side of their face.) ‘R’ further explained that the sole purpose of the Gorb invasion was the eventual defeat of Starfleet.

Once Asthmantha was abducted, ‘R’ thought a chain of events would be set in motion and a temporal ripple released that would make this very intervention unnecessary. That is, the Gateshead would instantly reappear back on its original mission and the crew would have no knowledge of its role in changing history. The ‘corrected’ course of computer evolution would allow Starfleet systems to resist the onslaught of the Gorb.

Alas, nothing of the sort transpired. Mutter was obviously affected by the ‘alien’ abduction and dedicated his life to exposing it, but that apparently wasn’t enough. The Earth remained doomed—artificially plunged into the computer dark ages where one company dominated the market and retarded computer evolution for centuries.

Years in Earth orbit took its toll on the systems and the crew of the Gateshead. The interconnected computer networks on a ship of this class formed a sophisticated neural net, mimicking an organic central nervous system, with control over voluntary and involuntary ship services. Over time, several irretrievable system failures damaged the integrity of the neural process causing the loss of key functions. The two RESTWIN specialists had experienced a kind of virtual pneumonia that left them both paralyzed and blithering about inserting an original DVD. Without anyone on board capable of supporting Windows 2240, many of the backup systems ground to a halt.

Deteriorating living conditions coupled with continuing mission failure led to a serious morale crisis among the crew. There were even occasional whispers about the Captain’s fitness to lead and some of the crew appeared to form factions in support of various officers considered possible replacements.

The Captain, Jean Louis, took these setbacks gracefully and confidently, and had formed a number of committees to recommend and coordinate various courses of action. At first the committees dealt primarily with accomplishing the mission, but now, twenty-nine years later, it was becoming increasingly obvious that this would take considerable time and finesse. Shoring up the ship’s systems was now an important subtask.

Today’s meeting was likely to be a contentious one and so Jean Louis asked Commander Treanna Quatro, the ship’s counselor to be present. Also ordered to attend were Ensign Flusher, Commander Warp, Lt. Commander BOB (the ‘on again, off again’ android), Commander Striker, Commander Georgie LaFay from Engineering, and Dr. Heidi Gross, the ship’s medical officer. The Captain called the meeting to order.

“Ladies and gentlemen, may we get started?”

The participants sitting around the long conference table immediately gave the Captain their fullest attention.

Ripples in Time

“We appear to have two major problems,” explained the Captain, “accomplishing the mission in a timely fashion and restoring the Gateshead’s systems. During this meeting I’d like to focus on the mission. We’ll meet again soon to discuss engineering options to repair the ship’s systems.”
The whole business of modifying a 20th century event and predicting its impact on the future was imprecise at best and contrary to the prime directive. And, though it wasn’t a popular approach, Jean Louis continued to order extreme caution.

One committee led by Commander Warp had been formed to implement minor, consciousness-awakening changes that would help establish Mutter’s credibility. A shuttle was used to perform strategic ‘flyovers’ to show 20th Century observers that they might indeed be visited by extraterrestrial life forms. Engineering used the tractor beam to create weird geometric diagrams in crop fields. And some of Earth’s inhabitants were temporarily beamed to the Holideck where Warp set up an elaborate hoax designed to play on their worst fears. Alas, the local political constructs were so conservative that all of these signals were rejected as nonsense and anyone relating their experiences was generally ridiculed. Even the final, rather desperate measure of cutting the throats and mutilating farm animals had no discernable impact.

Another committee led by Treanna had recommended direct intervention with Mutter and Sulky, but this was rejected year after year as too dangerous. Mutter and Sulky were considered two of the ‘principals’ and changes to their present status could be magnified greatly resulting in further deterioration of the Gateshead’s situation. Jean Louis had often reminded the crew that the fabric of time was tightly wound and it was federation policy to avoid major intervention with ‘principals’ whenever possible.

A final committee was headed by ‘BOB’, the android, who suggested that the strongest way to influence events was to tie Mutter’s past to the present while pointing him in the direction of the conspiracy. BOB’s committee felt beaming up selected scrabble tiles, showing the pattern reappear in the future, and directing Mutter’s attention to the Dogcow was fairly successful. This train of events certainly had a profound effect on Mutter that had only dissipated over time with Sulky’s cynicism. Mutter’s failure to tie the Dogcow properly into the whole sordid chain of events was regrettable.

“Captain,” interrupted Treanna, “I sense an incredible frustration on the part of the crew about our whole approach to this mission. From our committee’s observations, it appears that we’re about to lose Sulky’s contributions to the investigation and without Sulky, we fear that Mutter will be impotent, so to speak.”

“Plus,” added Flusher, “we’re running out of time, sir. If we don’t do something more drastic, we run the risk of failure and all that entails.”

Warp added, “Our committees have been meeting together over the past few months and we think we’ve got a solid course of action that you may consider risky, but which is less risky than following the present course.”

The Captain, being a consummate politician sensed that there was more than a little electricity in the air. “Okay,” replied Jean Louis, “Let’s hear your suggestions.”

The End, My Friend

Hearings, schmearings. Mutter and Sulky had been through it all. Mutter was accused of failing to follow official protocol for his ‘freelance’ undercover investigation of Macrosoft, and Sulky was attacked for ‘bringing the agency into disrepute’ for her alleged involvement with a high administration official. The upshot was that the ‘Why Files’ section had been shut down and both agents were to be transferred to the bureau’s equivalents of Siberia: Mutter to Cleveland and Sulky to Syracuse.

Transfers, however, take time, and during the interim both were assigned to desk duty at the Washington field office. It was demeaning duty and the two agents were noticeably tired and testy. That week, hardly a word passed between them, and it was pure chance that they met in the parking lot after work on Friday.

Mutter tried to break the awkward silence.

“Hi Sulky.”

“Mutter,” she acknowledged, but averted his eyes.

“Talk to me, Sulky,” implored Mutter, “We’ve been through too much together to let it end like this.”

Sulky paused, turned to Mutter, and self-consciously wiped a tear away with her sleeve.
“Mutter, I never wanted anything to end like this. My career is over and I blame no one but myself. I’m leaving town this weekend and I’m going to do some soul searching. I suggest you consider something similar.”

“Sulky, I have no intention of doing anything of the sort. I know who I am and I know who they are. They are not going to win by using the bureaucracy against me. I’m sorry if you think you need to do some soul searching. I intend to pursue another kind of search.

“Mutter, that’s just like you. You don’t know when you’re beat and you won’t accept defeat even if it means losing your job. Meanwhile, you don’t care who else goes down with you.”

“That’s not fair, Sulky, and you know it’s not.”

“Who are you to determine what’s fair and what’s not?”

“Okay, Sulky, go ahead and play your guilt game if that’s what makes you happy. While you’re away ‘finding yourself’ consider that this problem is a bit more important than the personal happiness and careers of two federal employees.” (The problems of two silly people don’t mount to a hill of beans in this crazy world.)

“You still don’t get it, Mutter. The ‘problem’ is mainly in your head and frankly, I don’t want to get into another tedious debate with you.”

Sulky turned away, slipped into her Mazda Miata convertible, and began to back out of her parking space, while Mutter just stood there, his head bowed as if fighting back a wave of depression. In first gear now, the Miata gently rolled toward the parking lot exit.

“Nada,” he called. Sulky stopped and glanced back. Mutter almost never called her by her first name.

“Nada,” he said, “promise me you’ll call me this weekend.”

“Okay, Mutter,” she almost automatically responded. Finding her reaction to Mutter’s vulnerability somewhat puzzling, she stepped on the gas and began pulling out of the parking lot.

Mutter’s depression was interrupted by a loud ‘Pop’ that sounded like something between a firecracker and a tire blowout. He ran towards the Miata and noticed Sulky had run over a pink flamingo statuette that must have been blown partly into the drive. She looked back, smiled briefly, and continued into the road.

Mutter picked up the remnants and tossed them in a trash can.

I Think, Therefore iMac

“Georgie, could you give us your assessment of the latest systems crisis and its impact on the ship?” asked the Captain.

“We have two main areas of concern,” explained Georgie, “the Ship’s Replicator has just about shut down and our heating systems on deck 8 have failed.”

“You can say that again,” added Commander Striker, “my room is freezing.”

“Commander Striker,” said the Captain, “We all have been inconvenienced in one way or another and if we just sit here and complain, we’ll never get anything accomplished.”

“Excuse me, sir. I didn’t mean to complain. I just wanted to confirm that there is indeed a problem.”

“Georgie, please continue.” ordered the Captain.

“Well, sir, those are the two main problems right now and I think we may have a handle on both of them.”

“How’s that, Georgie?” asked the Captain.

“Well, sir, we’ve beamed up a specific range of terrestrial computers and we’ve gotten them on line to replace our current mess. It was fairly easy determining which systems worked and which were a ‘macho’ hustle. By the way, I use ‘macho’ to describe an odd phenomena during this 20 year time span where technology was judged to be desirable if it required the user to get ‘down and dirty’ and insert boards, modify systems software, change hardware interrupts, and the like.

“Are you implying, Georgie, that some late 20th Century computers can adequately substitute for our systems?”

“Funny you should ask about that, Captain. To be honest, the systems we chose were low-priced consumer models that were so much more powerful than anything else on the planet that they seemed an obvious choice. They’re characterized by their translucent, 23rd century look and remarkable operating systems. In fact, we’ve had no problems since we installed them. Though they don’t pack the power of our on-board computers, they’ve gone some way towards resolving the replicator problem.”

“And what about the heating systems on Deck 8?” asked the Captain.

“We found a solution to that problem quite accidentally,” answered Georgie. The small standalone units weren’t robust enough to run the environmental control software that controls heating. And just on a whim, we tried a laptop version of the same computer that featured a much faster processor.”

“And that did the trick?” asked the Captain.

“Well, yes and no, Captain. You see the systems still weren’t quite powerful enough to completely restore heat to Deck 8, but Ensign Flusher noticed that the laptop itself gave off so much heat, that it could be used to supplement the control systems.

“I’m a little confused,” said the Captain, “if these systems are so powerful and easy to use, how could the planet have fallen for this conspiracy?”

“If we could answer that question Captain, we’d have a shot at preventing it from happening.”

Nevermore

It was one of those sticky summer nights and Mutter had a tough time sleeping. He would doze off only to awaken a few moments later with a start. The heat seemed to keep him restless while his mind focused on recent mistakes he’d made with both the bureau and Sulky. When he finally did nod off again, he’d repeat the entire cycle. There was a piece of information about the day that he couldn’t quite process and this added to his sense of frustration.

He suspected he had lost Sulky for good. She would now pursue her own career either with the Bureau or outside it, but she would never again investigate WhyFile cases. Perhaps, that was his biggest failure—not convincing Sulky of the conspiracy despite incontrovertible proof like the missing scrabble tiles. At times, her resistance seemed unnatural, as if she was part of the conspiracy, while at other times, she offered sound, logical counterarguments that certainly made him reconsider the evidence.

She also made him reexamine his feelings. It seemed that the closer they came to exposing the aliens, the closer they grew together personally. Mutter had always enjoyed working with Sulky, despite her obstinacy, but lately there was more to it than a working relationship. He noticed that Sulky had begun wearing makeup and he too had almost unconsciously begun to dress with more care. He had even allowed himself to fantasize in her presence—holding her in his arms and kissing her passionately. He wondered at times if she could read his fantasies in his eyes.

Of course, none of this mattered. It was all lost. They had approached the summit personally and professionally and had plummeted back to ground zero. Missed opportunities. Mutter got out of bed, slipped on a pair of shorts, walked to the bedroom window and noted that the streets were still quiet.

Even the street people were missing and that was very odd. Mutter went to the dresser, unholstered his blue steel, snub-nosed, Detective Special, 38-cal. revolver, and made sure it was loaded. He rushed to the phone only to find it was cut off, paused, and heard a commotion in the hallway downstairs.

Mutter looked frantically around the room. His cell phone was nowhere in sight. He must have left it in his car. Then he remembered… the cable modem. He rushed to his desk, turned on his bondi-blue, snub-sized, iMac, 233 MHz computer, and quickly logged onto the net.

Mutter considered sending the emergency distress signal to the bureau but then remembered the phone strike. He looked out the windows again and still observed no movement on the street. Then he saw the unmarked police car three quarters of the way down the block. Almost as if on signal, the car pulled away at speed.

Mutter opened his apartment door, listened intently down the stairwell, and convinced himself that his imagination was playing tricks. When he returned, he noticed the envelope that someone had slipped beneath the door. He read the note inside, rushed to the bathroom, and vomited in the toilet. He had now broken into a cold sweat. The note read:

Oh my gosh! Another pink flamingo
Cocks its beak to welcome thee.
Across the distant seas meandering,
It speaks of silence and says so softly
And birds galore it does espy.
No feathers these nor flight perceived
They sit or stand upon their gard
A secret held in plasticine

Mutter tossed the note on his desk, had a shot of Captain Jack, and went back to bed. The bourbon had a relaxing effect and helped him process and confront what was happening to him. The last time he had consciously thought about a ‘pink flamingo’ was the day Asty was abducted. Asty had a collection of tiny pink flamingos that had disappeared along with her and the Scrabble tiles. He had mentioned this to his mom who assumed that for some reason the police investigators had taken them. When she inquired, the police professed ignorance.

“So why now?” he wondered “and how does it relate to the flamingo in the field office parking lot this morning?”

The Silver Bard

Sulky’s idea of ‘getting out of town and doing some ‘soul searching’ was a flight to Syracuse, New York and a short drive to the charming port city of Oswego. After all, if Syracuse was to be her new assignment, she thought she’d look over the territory.

Sulky had just finished touring Old Fort Ontario, one of Oswego’s historic attractions, left the tour group, and walked over to a bench overlooking Lake Ontario. It was a perfect Saturday, bright and sunny with a velvety breeze coming off the lake. As she watched a gull navigate the steep bank and land on the rocky shoreline, her mind seemed clearer than it had in months. She felt an enormous burden lift and almost wanted to cry out in relief. She would give her new assignment a try and leave the muddled mess of the WhyFiles to masochists like Mutter.

After a satisfying thirty minutes of lake air and self-reflection, she left the bench and walked towards her rental car in the Fort’s parking lot. In the distance, a silver-bearded man appeared to be planting something very close to the side of the road. She could just barely make out a Yankees baseball cap and a large, awkward piece of plastic like a sign, but not a sign… He glanced up, saw her staring, and ran down the bank towards the lake. Sulky felt for her revolver and hurried towards the man’s original location.

Out of breath, Sulky stopped and examined a tacky plastic pink flamingo. Tied around its neck was a plane brown envelope. She quickly grabbed the envelope and ran to the bank’s edge but could find no trace of the stranger. The envelope contained one small notepad-sized piece of paper with a printed message:

Oh my gosh! Another pink flamingo
Imprisoned by its frozen blood
Sits and stares and wonders dryly:
‘The mission done, will life spurn me?
Will the bureau break and burn me?
Will a land dump then entomb me?
Forgotten by the silver bard.’
A secret held in plasticine.

“Very odd,” thought Sulky, as she placed the note in her purse.

For Someone Else But Not For Me

Sulky went back to her hotel, called Mutter, and related the whole experience. He insisted that she fly back to Washington immediately, but Sulky didn’t want any part of that. It all sounded like another ‘wild goose’ (or flamingo) chase and she was done with that nonsense. After she hung up the phone, Sulky decided to take a short afternoon nap.

She awoke before she opened her eyes and sensed something wrong immediately. She hoped it was a bad dream and when she opened her eyes, her world would be together again. But it wasn’t. She no longer was in her hotel room. Rather, she was laying on an air mattress on a beautiful sandy beach at sunset and she was wearing a bikini that she would never be bold enough to wear. Laying next to her on another air mattress was an extremely powerful looking male draped in a white kimono. At least he looked powerful from the back as he was lying on his side facing away from her.

“Where am I?” inquired Sulky in a half-choked voice.

The man next to her rolled over and asked “Where do you want to be, Sulky?”

Sulky now thought she had arrived on the edge of sanity and wondered if she had been drugged. The stranger was not a man at all. Rather, it appeared to be an alien male.
Beads of sweat glistened on his furrowed brow.

“Some sweat, some brow,” thought Sulky, “who had never seen a Klingon before.”

After the initial shock of seeing Warp’s face, Sulky noticed his kimono had opened when he turned over. She couldn’t help but glance down his body… and “Gee three! Oh my God. Oh my God” she thought. A two-buttoned joystick, combined with a Klingon love cry, made her melt into a sensual puddle.

Hours later, when she was transported back to her hotel room, she awoke on the bed only to find herself happier than she had ever been in her life. She found herself humming an old Monkees tune. “I’m a believer, I couldn’t leave him if I tried…”

She called Mutter and agreed to meet him Sunday afternoon at the FDR Memorial. She also perplexed Mutter by finishing the conversation with “By the way, you were right—about everything.” Mutter thought she sounded like an excited little girl.

Nothing to Fear

Mutter and Sulky sat on a bench overlooking one section of the new FDR exhibit in D.C. The spray from the fountain occasionally carried with the breeze and refreshingly caressed their faces. Mutter read one of many Roosevelt quotes etched into the side of the exhibit: “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

“Fear distorts perspective,” thought Mutter, “and without perspective, we are all lost.”

“Tell me Mutter,” said Sulky, “what’s the significance of the flamingos?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe someone is trying to tell us something.”

“Either that or mislead us.”

“Sulky, we’ve been mislead all over the ball park, there’s no reason to add to our confusion. I think the flamingos are on our side.”

“I hope you’re right, Mutter,” said Sulky.

Mutter couldn’t help noticing that Sulky looked different and appeared at times to even think different. He hesitated to inquire about the stain on the neck of her dress.

They got up and walked around to the next section of the exhibit. Sulky reached over and took Mutter’s hand. “I wonder if FDR would have been disappointed with this,” said Sulky, “you know he asked for just a small memorial.”

“I doubt if he would be too disappointed,” said Mutter, “much of the memorial is dedicated to his ideals and the triumph of a generation over adversity rather than to him personally, and I think he would have approved.”

Mutter affectionately squeezed Sulky’s hand.

As they left the exhibit and walked towards the Jefferson Memorial, Sulky was the first to notice the stab of pink color on the shores of the Tidal Basin. They jogged over to see yet another pink flamingo, this time proud and erect. Mutter and Sulky’s eyes met and Sulky smiled. For the first time in a very long time, Mutter felt excited about a woman.
Opening the envelope revealed the following message:

Oh my gosh! Another pink flamingo
He wings his way across the ether
While other stuff of greater import
Is left unsaid by all the sayers.
Nods and smirks, and single layers,
A glance and yea a hollow prayer.
An agent left with just one recourse:
A secret held in plasticine.

Not Just Sugar Water

Over the next week, Mutter and Sulky grew closer personally, but made little progress in deciphering the message of the flamingos. There were apparent allusions to the FBI and some concern that the ‘message’ would not be properly deciphered. When Mutter explained his earlier encounter with his toy flamingos, even Sulky was convinced that there were greater powers involved in this process.

On Friday evening, Sulky went to Mutter’s apartment for a working dinner. After reviewing all the evidence that they had compiled over the past few years, they could make a few simple conclusions about the conspiracy. First, of course, there was a conspiracy and it appeared to involve top government and industry leaders. Second, two of the leading systems software companies in the nation were at least incidentally involved. Third, the conspiracy had an extraterrestrial dimension. (Sulky now seemed to embrace this conclusion where once she ridiculed it.) Fourth, the immediate impact of the conspiracy was to set back the course of computer evolution by influencing business and industry to opt for an inferior operating system still in beta form. Both agents now suspected that retarding technical progress on the Earth must be a pretext for eventual control.

Mutter tried unsuccessfully to search through the flamingo verses to find any kind of a match to one of these conclusions. Sulky suggested they give it a rest and do a further review in the morning. Mutter offered coffee and a nightcap, Sulky accepted, and they sat on his leather couch sipping a Black Russian and ostensibly watching CNN. They were also finely tuned into body language and Mutter was biding his time and waiting for some signal from Sulky that she wanted to get closer.

Entertainment Today was doing a special on Rock stars that had intentionally or unintentionally committed suicide, while in the background playing an old Peter, Paul, and Mary rendition of ‘Where Have All the Flowers Gone?” Sulky muttered something about really liking Janis Joplin and leaned her head on Mutter’s shoulder. Mutter closed his eyes momentarily, breathed in her perfume, and sensed her warm touch.

With a commercial, Mutter automatically switched to Headline News. A commentator was standing outside a mansion in Silicon Valley and next to him stood a large plastic pink flamingo.

Sulky practically jumped out of her seat, startling Mutter, and shouted ‘Quick, look— it’s a flamingo.’ Mutter stared at the screen in disbelief and saw why Sulky reacted the way she had.

The commentator went on, “Today, John Sulky, former marketing director of Pepsi Cola and CEO of Apple Computer, announced the formation of PF Inc.. The company will market a small hand held device featuring the Windows CE operating system. Industry observers believe Sulky will base the PF Flyer on the Knowledge Navigator, a concept developed during Sulky’s last years at Apple. The unit will be pink in color, made of durable plasticine, and connect to the world via a cellular satellite link. Sulky also announced the formation of PF Communications, a new Internet Service Provider specifically aimed at the Flyer market. The projected price of a fully configured Flyer is expected to be in the neighborhood of $99.95.”

It took a while for the significance of the announcement to sink in.

“At that price, they will sell millions,” said Sulky.

“No,” corrected Mutter, “at that price they will sell hundreds of millions and they will take a major step towards controlling terrestrial communications.”

“Mutter, we finally know who their front man is.”

“I’ll call the airport and book reservations.”

“Wait, Mutter. Let’s sleep on it,” Sulky suggested.

“I’ll take the couch and we’ll get an early start tomorrow morning.”

Sulky smiled lasciviously, walked towards the bedroom, turned and said “Wolf, forget the couch. We’ve got to start working as a real team.”

“Ah, Good point, Sulky.”

There and Back Again

The Jobshead had completed its mission exploring the Strata-9 Galactic Ring far ahead of schedule. Starfleet suggested the crew take a well-earned vacation on Queros-4 and sent a congratulatory email message to each member of the crew that was delivered by the Talking Moose, a legendary creature from the early days of terrestrial computing.

When the Captain arrived on the bridge, the officers of the day gave him a rousing ovation. Jean Louis blushed and asked Counselor Treanna if she could spare a few minutes in his ready room. She had already analyzed the situation and was on her way to his quarters. The Captain left Commander Striker the job of determining who wanted to take leave on Queros-4 and who preferred to stay aboard.

Most of the company preferred to stay aboard and take advantage of the ship’s systems and the hDeck. The ship’s neural net compiled individual profiles and created hDeck adventures particularly suited to each. These were physically and emotionally exhilarating and the only element in short supply on the Jobshead was time. Two weeks on the hDeck was too compelling an adventure to turn down.

“Flusher, lay in a course for Queros-4,” ordered Commander Striker.

“Aye, sir, course laid in,” replied Flusher.

“Engage.”

New! BOOK BYTES ANNUAL AWARDS

In the December, 1998 issue of My Mac Magazine, we will
present the first annual awards for the best books published
in 1997 and 1998. All books on Macintosh or Internet
topics are eligible.

We are beginning the awards with books I reviewed for
My Mac, Macsense, and TidBITS during the past two
years, in order to enter 1999 with a clean slate.

The awards are honorary, and will be selected from two groups:

• BOOK BYTES AWARDS, chosen by the My Mac staff, in a variety of categories; and

• READER AWARDS, nominated by you, on the topics of your choice.

Send your nominations to <nemo@mymac.com> by November 1, stating your reasons for choosing the book(s) you recommend.

Thank you.

THE VANISHING BOOKSTORE

One of the special vacation pleasures on my annual return drive from San Francisco to Tucson is passing a lazy afternoon in Santa Barbara, California, two hours’ drive north of Los Angeles. With timing and luck, Barbara and I can cruise through the L.A. freeway system after the evening rush hours.

The high point is having an hour to browse in the Earthling Bookstore, an outstanding independent bookseller, on State Street, in the heart of Santa Barbara’s shopping district.

Last year the Earthling was fighting for its life, asking customers to “contribute” to the cause by — gasp — buying their books at Earthling, and not elsewhere.

The invasion was complete by the summer of 1998. Within a few paces from Earthling, and from one another, are two huge full-service megastores. Yep, you guessed correctly: “Borders & Noble,” to coin a phrase.

Throughout the United States, the pattern is predictable, so that roughly 700 of the “B&N” behemoths now inhabit prime real estate in town centers and sprawl-malls. These stores sell books by the truckload, and put the ma and pa shops out of business. It is happening here in Tucson, and it happened in Santa Barbara.

Don’t get me wrong: the megastores provide an excellent selection of the books that My Mac and Book Bytes readers purchase and read. The plain truth is that consolidation is now king and queen in most forms of commerce, and the trend is accelerating. (Did I hear you mutter “Microsloth,” perhaps?)

Taking an exclusive stand in favor of the independent book shops is a lost cause for most of us. Business is booming at Amazon.com and other Internet bookstores. Look at our Book Bytes Web links, and you’ll see my point immediately.

In Santa Barbara, the Earthling is finished: “Everything in the store now 30% – 50% off. We are closing.” Tears were in my eyes as I walked past the store for the final time, unable to enter a living tomb. Adieu, old pal.

Consider your purchases carefully, readers. If possible, help keep the little guys and gals afloat. Vote with your wallet, and you can make a difference.

End of sermon.

INTERNET STOCK MARKET MARKUP

September, 1998, was a bewildering month for investors in the stock markets of the world. Predictions for October and beyond are: UNPREDICTABLE. You read it here first. Tell a friend.

I have participated in the U.S. stock market as a growth stock mutual fund investor for nearly 20 years. Even considering the wild swings in prices this year, my total return has been positive.

Most of my personal investments have been goal-oriented:

• periodic small deposits accumulated, and were cashed out to pay for my daughter’s college tuition;

• money market funds were left untouched, and then were used for a down payment on our home;

• long-term contributions are locked away in retirement funds, to be withdrawn in 10 – 20 years.

My wife, daughter, and I are “out of the market” now, meaning we have no new money to invest, except for annual retirement fund contributions. For us, for now, the party is over, to be resumed … ???

I cannot presume to address the overall investment profile for readers of the Nemo Memo. Therefore, I present the following five very personal rules of thumb, which you may consider, given that:

MY INVESTMENT ADVICE IS WORTH EXACTLY WHAT IT COSTS YOU TO OBTAIN IT.

Here goes:

1. Investing in common stock mutual funds can provide greater peace of mind than owning individual stocks, but either one can be risky or conservative. Do your homework.

2. Mutual fund managers are very smart, so find one who “works for you,” and let him/her do their job. Be patient.

3. Save and invest initially for the essential costs of life: home, education, and family. Then set aside as much as possible for your retirement, and for the next generation. Think: SECURITY.

4. Read, read, read. Then read some more: personal finance magazines, newspapers, and the Internet. Concentrate on the investment publications you understand. Keep reading.

5. Life is for living, not worrying. Invest carefully, using common sense, and keep your finances in perspective. Enjoy yourself.

As for the high-flying Internet (or bio-tech, or railroad, or tulip) stocks, either get lucky, get in early, make a bundle, and get out, or forget ‘em.

I welcome your comments.

NEMO’S READING LIST

Oh yes; one more thing. Book Bytes has “gone to the printer,” so I’ll mention two favorite non-computer books here. If you are looking for a “good read,” I recommend both these books, which are available in paperback worldwide, in English and in translation:

Into Thin Air : A Personal Account of the Mount Everest Disaster
(non-fiction; heart-stopping true-life adventure on Mt. Everest)
by Jon Krakauer
$7.99 U. S.
Paperback: 360 pages (May 1998)
Anchor Books
ISBN: 0385492081

… and …

Cold Mountain
(historical fiction; adventure and romantic saga, set during the U.S. Civil War)
by Charles Frazier
$13.00 U.S.
Paperback: 448 pages (August, 1998)
Vintage Books
ISBN: 0375700757

(finally, and certainly not least)

EMAIL RELIABILITY: THE LAST WORD?

I had catastrophic email disasters during the summer. I planned to give you all the details, but the story is so grim I can’t bear to think about it any more. The result is what matters, correct? Good. Here is my conclusion:

• For Web-based free email, I personally prefer Mailcity <http://www.mailcity.com> and MailExcite <http://www.mailexcite.com>. Many other comparable services are available, so you can decide for yourself, depending upon your browser and your connectivity speed. I am familiar with (in no special order):

Eudoramail- <http://www.eudoramail.com>
MauiMail- <http://www.mauimail.com>
Yahoo! Mail- <http://mail.yahoo.com>
Iname- <http://www.iname.com>
Hotmail- <http://www.hotmail.com>
NetAddress- <http://www.netadress.com>

and there are probably a dozen more, if you care to investigate.

• America Online (AOL) has improved dramatically, and is nearly 100 percent reliable for email, from my personal experience.

• Mailcity and Iname offer automatic forwarding. Iname is free, and Mailcity Premium costs $12.95 U.S. per year. I prefer the client interface for Mailcity Premium, and can recommend it.

That does it for October. See you next month.

John

•John Nemerovski• <nemo@mymac.com>

Cover by Mike Gorman
MyMac Magazine #42, October 1998

GoMac 1.5v3
Proteron, L.L.C.
Shareware: $19.95

If there was one measly, single feature in Windows 95 or 98 that you could consider decent, what would you pick? (I know, it seems like a trick question, but it’s not. :¬P) One popular answer would be the “Task Bar”, a feature that allows for single-click cycling through open programs and windows, making multitasking a little easier.

Just Like Windows
True to its claim, when you restart after you install GoMac, you will notice something different. A strange bar seems to be invading the bottom of your screen! Depending on your setup, you see a Start menu à la Windows 95/98 (but with a Mac OS logo instead of that wavy, rainbow-colored thing), and a clock. You will also see a button labeled “Finder”, representing the current open application.

However, GoMac falls a bit short of the functionality of the task bar used by Windows (or as GoMac refers to it, a “Program Bar”). Although there is a button for each open application at the bottom, individual windows within each application don’t get their own buttons. As a result, you can use GoMac to switch between applications but not to move through open windows. It even mimics Windows 95/98′s application-switching keyboard shortcut to allow you to cycle through open apps without the mouse. (Note that both keyboard shortcuts for application switching and a floating window that lists all open applications will be featured in MacOS 8.5.)

Is That a Feature?
Unfortunately, when it comes to configurability and customization, GoMac almost hits rock bottom.

Of course, you can set options like automatically hiding the Program Bar, whether or not to hide other applications in the background, and which application you use to search your hard drive, but GoMac has too many of those trivial settings and not enough of the essential options that users expect. For instance, there is no way to customize the font/size of the start bar menu or clock; you cannot change what appears under the “Settings” menu item—it’s
permanently set to Control Panels, Extensions
(for the Extensions Manager), Chooser, Monitors
& Sound, Program Bar (to open the GoMac
Control Panel), and Start Menu Items.

Mac Meets Windows
Of course, GoMac also has its share of well-
conceived features. For example, clicking on the
clock reveals a “perpetual calendar”, where you
can cycle through the days, weeks, months and years just about indefinitely. The program bar also features Control Strip support; however, you must individually add Control Strip modules, one-at-a-time, to be able to use them. This may become troublesome for users with many modules. Its Control Strip support also does not use the font settings of the “Control Strip” Control Panel. GoMac also features rudimentary Contextual Menu support. Control-clicking on a program’s button will reveal a menu that allows the user to see how much memory an application is taking up (when you click on the Finder, it displays the total amount of free memory), an option to quit the application, and a menu item to invoke a “Settings” dialog which can control if the app appears as a small icon next to the clock instead of as a bar.

One of GoMac’s best features is support for the Appearance Manager. Although this may not mean much now, it means better compatibility down the line. When users of Kaleidoscope 2.0 change schemes, for instance, GoMac changes the color of the program bar to match the scheme. However, it still doesn’t change its fonts to automatically match the scheme’s selected System font.

The Summary
If you’re a PC user who recently switched to the Mac, or you usually juggle a dozen apps at once, then GoMac is for you. Its usefulness will satisfy your needs, even though its lack of configurability may be disconcerting. If you’re a Mac user looking for a new toy for your Mac, GoMac doesn’t provide enough features to justify its usefulness unless you really want to have a task bar.

RAM Doubler 8.0.1
Company: Connectix Corp.
Estimated Price: $44.99

What would you do with more RAM? Start thinking,
because RAM Doubler 8.0.1 from Connectix could provide
a quick solution to double or triple your existing memory.
The new version features enhanced speed, compatibility, and many new features that will make doubling (or even tripling) your RAM a more pleasurable experience.

Out With the Old…
Remember RAM Doubler 2? Imagine that it never crashed, worked faster, and was compatible with more applications. The end result would be something very similar to RAM Doubler 8.0.1. Compared with previous versions, this memory enhancement works like a dream. Although you will still see a noticeable speed hit, it’s still much, much faster than the Mac OS built-in virtual memory scheme and still faster and more compatible than ever before.

… And In With the New
Not only does RAM Doubler 8.0.1 boast better compatibility and improved speed, but it introduces several new and useful features in the control panel.

The layout of the control panel is now a three-tabbed approach. The first tab allows the user to determine what the memory should be increased to (no increase, double, triple, and a few settings in between). A new pie chart feature on the second tab lets you see what percentage of each application’s memory is in active use, paged, compressed, and free. The third tab features advanced settings and displays. Six vertical bars show the memory paging fault rate, RAM compression rate, and disk access rate (for stored memory data).

How Slow Can You Go?
If you want to see a testimonial to RAM Doubler 8′s power, look below for a screenshot:

RAM Doubler 8 is shown supporting the following applications with only 48 MB of physical RAM: Illustrator (18.5 MB), Photoshop(39.1 MB), AOL (14.6 MB), HyperCard(5.9 MB), Finder (15.6 MB), PlayerPRO (7.8 MB), and VirtualPC (30.7 MB).

Even while running all of these applications at the same time on a PowerMac 6400/200 with RAM Doubler 8.0.1, I didn’t crash at all. Of course, I wasn’t running at full speed, but I was operating at twice the speed of the standard Mac OS virtual memory. Note that it’s still pretty extreme to triple your memory and run that many applications at once; doubling your physical RAM is the best cross between enlarging your memory and retaining your computer’s speed.

RAM Doubler also gives the user all of the benefits of standard virtual memory. It reduces the amount of memory that PowerMac-native applications need (as seen in the Get Info dialog). However, it adds several seconds to your startup time as it prepares itself for use.

Wow, That’s Smart!
Memory enhancement is also smarter than ever. If you try to give an application more than the amount of physical memory you have, its memory partition is automatically reduced to the maximum size. It also features a small “paging indicator”, a dot that flashes in the upper left corner whenever RAM Doubler is working its magic. The control panel is also now outfitted with a help box that provides information on whatever you point to.

The Summary
With gratly improved speed, reliability, and compatibility, RAM Doubler 8.0.1 is a better buy than ever. Its useful charts and graphs show statistics about your memory down to the smallest detail, and even has many smart features to prevent easily avoidable crashes. However, RAM prices have continued to fall; you can get 32 MB of real physical memory for $45 at most places. If you have a fair amount of existing memory, a fast computer, and you want a little extra memory to play with, you may get substantial value out of RAM Doubler 8.0.1. But if you have 16 MB memory or less, a slow computer, or a desire to triple your memory, RAM Doubler 8.0.1 will work, but at the price of a substantial slowdown.

The following column was originally published at www.mactimes.com. My Mac Magazine makes no inference of ownership or implied copyright provisions. My Mac Magazine is simply presenting these as a tribute to Susan, our friend. The following is ® MacTimes. Permission was NOT given to My Mac Magazine for reprinting. So sue us…

Mark Delfs’ latest Sharkbytes column “Yes, Virginia, it’s time to upgrade,” set me to thinking. Like Mark, I’ve learned that, if you want to stay in the game, never say ‘never’ when it comes to technology.

In spite of my husband’s heartfelt proclamation (on upgrading from our first 386 25 MHz to a 486 33 MHz some years later): “This is the last computer I’m ever gonna buy!” — it wasn’t.

Though, now that I think about it, in his own way, he may have been right. Gene has not bought so much as a piece of software in the last four years. I, on the other hand, discovered the Mac and never looked back.

So, I certainly agree with Mark on taking a hard look at your current needs, biting the bullet and at least checking out your options. Where I see things a little differently may be with what happens to that old, out of date machine. If you really love your little shavers, don’t saddle them with that ancient Mac and expect either their gratitude – or their grades – to sky rocket.

I know. It’s easier to justify spending big money on the grown ups, if only we can pretend it is really for the kids. Done it myself.

“Hey Ma!” says Pa. “Gonna get a new Mac. The old Classic just won’t cut it anymore. Gonna give this old one here to the kids for Christmas.” Wowee! Happy Holidays, Kids.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. As computers go, that old Classic has a lot more life in her than a DOS-based machine of the same age. But, if Dad has outgrown his old Mac, the kids are sure to find it a pinch as well. This is especially true if Dad (or Mom) is of the word processing, data base, spreadsheet generation.

The older computers were designed for just such tasks and many a book has been written or a checkbook balanced on a Classic. But take a look at current software for the kids. Unless Junior spends most of his time writing black and white reports on ‘My Summer Vacation’ and Sister is devoted to making a database of her current boy friends, that Classic will spend more time off than on.

But there’s Pa, still yearning for a new Mac. Maybe he wants into games big time. Shame on you Pa. Is your daily dose of blood and guts more important than Junior’s JumpStart 2nd Grade? Or Sister’s HyperStudio project? And how about Ma’s passion to get her Ph.D. or to keep in touch with the family using pictures scanned into her email?

Then again, maybe Pa’s a struggling PhotoShop sort of guy. In that case Pa, go for it! I have to admit, you are overdue for an upgrade. Just don’t think you have done the kids a really big favor in unloading your Classic, SE, LC, or aging Performa on their eager little fingers. Or that your well-past-its-prime Mac is the answer to their computing prayers.

Their computer needs are equal to your own. Their software, rightfully rich in graphics, movies, sound files and information, can be as demanding of resources as your favorite game.

Being a true Mac fanatic, and believing in my heart if not my mind that one Mac is never enough, I say buy a couple. Give the Classic to Grandma for the church newsletter. (Sorry Grandma. Simply trying to protect the grandkiddies here.) Just don’t pawn it off on the kids and then pat yourself on the back.

Before you say “You gotta be crazy! Think I’m made of money?” think again. Think about the ‘Trailing Edge.’ History would indicate that today’s Macs will have their prices cut in the near future. Rumor says we might see some bargains around Christmas. Buying your new computer on the trailing edge, just as the next generation comes along, often means having great technology at a fire sale price.

So, here’s an idea. Why not get an iMac or two and network that old Mac as a floppy/SCSI connection for the pair. Instead of a family focused on Nintendo and the tube, your family will group enthusiastically around your new USB hub.

The whole flock will be there. Egging Dad on in the latest games. (Trashing Dad’s buttocks in the latest games!) Getting a jump start on great educational software. Scanning those family photos into a school project. Sending them off to Aunt Bertie via email. Checking out the Net under a watchful eye.

It’s a paradigm shift, Folks. (Don’t you hate these trendy words!) Once we gathered around the hearth, then the radio and now the TV. But in the world of tomorrow, what can I say? Families that USB together, will *be* together. (Ouch – how’s that for thinking different!)

So, let’s try another paradigm shift. What’s good for the Gander is good for the Goose and the Goslings as well. Check it out Pa. Those little goslings will think you’re Top Duck.

Note: I know a lot more about kids and computers than about cables and computers, so I checked it out myself with Dan Knight at MTN’s Low End Mac. I needed advice on using a Classic or other low end Mac as a floppy/SCSI connection to a the iMac.

Dan, I wrote:

Can a Classic be networked to an iMac to serve as a floppy input and for limited SCSI? If not, what Mac would be the earliest one practical for such a situation?

Dan answered:

You’d need an ethernet-to-LocalTalk adapter between the two computers, but with System 7.x file sharing turned on, you could give the iMac access to the floppy and hard drives. It would be very slow.

Another alternative, about $100, is a SCSI-to-ethernet adapter on the Mac Plus/SE/Classic/etc. I don’t know how fast this would be, but probably 4 to 8 times faster than LocalTalk.

- Dan Knight, Mac Advocate, dknight@mail.iserv.net

Editor in Chief, MacTimes http://www.mactimes.com/

Webmaster, Low End Mac http://www.mactimes.com/lowend/

Thanks for the input, Dan. You’re Top Duck with us.

New! BOOK BYTES ANNUAL AWARDS

In the December, 1998 issue of My Mac Magazine, we will
present the first annual awards for the best books published
in 1997 and 1998. All books on Macintosh or Internet
topics are eligible.

We are beginning the awards with books I reviewed for
My Mac, Macsense, and TidBITS during the past two years, in order to enter 1999 with a clean slate.

The awards are honorary, and will be selected from two groups:

Spades Deluxe 1.0
Company: Freeverse Software
Shareware: $19.95
http://www.freeverse.com

Mike: Freeverse Software has been making
quality games for the Macintosh for a long time,
but for much of that time its flagship product,
Hearts Deluxe, was the only one anybody knew
about. Recently, Freeverse has hit several home runs (although not quite as many as Mark McGwire), turning out games such as the poker/Scrabble combination CrossCards, and their own entertaining version of Klondike, Burning Monkey Solitaire. Freeverse has hit another long ball with Spades Deluxe, which promises to do for the game of spades what Hearts Deluxe did for hearts.

Adam: Long time readers of Game Guys will know that I am not a card player, and usually don’t consider playing cads as entertainment. Long time readers will also know that Mike and I are big fans of Freeverse Software’s games, which always seem to capture the card player in me, and get me addicted to a game that I never before considered playing.

Mike: Spades is a card game that requires a lot of thought and strategy, because you are playing as a team with another player, against another team of two players. After each hand is dealt, all four players must say how many tricks they intend to take in that hand. Each team is responsible for collecting the sum of the bids of the two players. For example, if you bid four tricks, and your partner bids three, your team is responsible for taking seven of the thirteen tricks in that hand.

Adam: Taking a trick in spades is the same as in Hearts, where the highest card in the highest suit on the table takes the trick. Of course, in the game of Spades, the trump suit is spades, which means that any spade, no matter what value, will override any other suit on the table. If there is more than one spade on the table, the highest value spade will take the trick.

Mike: The scoring in Spades is based upon the number of tricks you and your partner take in each hand. If you meet or exceed your bids, you get a lot of points. If you don’t meet your bids, you lose points. The amount of points gained or lost is also proportional to the number of tricks that you bid, so being gutsy in your bidding can really make things interesting. If you bid high and make it, you can build a big lead quickly. If you make a steep bid and fail to reach it, however, you can dig yourself a hole that can be tough to climb out of! On the other hand, if you bid low the entire time, you probably won’t lose many points, but your score won’t increase very fast, either.

Adam: Even though the concept of “the highest card wins” is pretty straightforward, it can be a challenge to learn how to play cooperatively with your partner, making good bids at the same time. Once you get the hang of it, though, Spades becomes a lot of fun to play, and it’s even more fun when both you and your partner are doing well.

Mike: In my opinion, the most amazing thing about Spades Deluxe is the job that Freeverse has done with the computer intelligence. To make a game in which the computer opponents react to situations as well as they do in Spades Deluxe is really impressive. This is especially true since one of the computer opponents is a teammate of yours, and the other two have to work together against you, unlike a game such as Hearts where it is everyone for themselves. The opposing computer team will really test your strategy, and your partner is often smarter than you are (at least he was a lot smarter than me!). To top things off, you can choose the type of playing style you want each computer player to have–either aggressive, conservative, or down the middle. Amazing!

Adam: I agree, Mike. You can also set the skill level of the players, the game room, scenery, and much more. And there are always those little humorous features that we have come to expect from Freeverse, including the famous “Boss Coming” feature.

Requirements/Availability
No requirements for Spades Deluxe were given, but it runs without hitch on all three of my Power Macs, a 6100, a 6400, and a PowerBook G3/250.

You can download Spades Deluxe from the Freeverse Software website at http://www.AmbrosiaSW.com, or from download.com, at http://www.download.com.

The Summary
Mike: The game features everything we’ve come to expect from Freeverse games. Anyone familiar with the interface and graphics in Hearts Deluxe will feel right at home, and the game is full of sound bites and comments from the other players–if you make a dumb move, look for your partner to chastise you!

All in all, Spades Deluxe is an outstanding addition to the Freeverse lineup of quality strategy-oriented games for the Macintosh. Anyone who likes card games should definitely give this one a try.

Adam: The fact that Spades Deluxe is so good comes as no surprise to me–I would expect nothing less from Freeverse Software. I have enjoyed playing Spades Deluxe very much, and that’s coming from a guy who normally thinks that playing cards is a waste of time. I highly recommend Spades Deluxe to card fans and non-card fans alike.

Download Spades Deluxe 1.5 

Mike Wallinga
mikew@mymac.com
Adam Karneboge
webmaster@mymac.com

Websites mentioned:
http://www.freeverse.com
http://www.download.com

When a new product is introduced, and there is high demand, delays should be expected, right? Yes. Delays do happen, but when company’s use those delays as excuses for poor customer service, that is not and should not be expected.

It has been brought to my attention that I am not the only person who has had a less-than-perfect experience with The Apple Store. (See recent letters to http://www.macintouch.com for just a few examples) So, after much nudging from friends and colleagues, I bring you this column, written all at once, on the night of Wednesday, 01 July 1998.

I will take you back almost two years to the purchase of my last computer. This was my first hitch ever with a mail order distributor and its’ shipping carrier, but, little did I know, it was not to be my last…

August 1996
I had purchased a Performa 6400/200 from MacMall. It was delayed, which I did not mind, but when shipping time came, the shipping carrier (who shall remain nameless) could not find my house, thus delaying my shipment a day. When that happened, I thought it would be the most I would ever have to go through to buy a new computer. Boy, was I wrong!

When Apple’s new online store opened, I decided it was finally time for a mobile computer that could go where I go, and there was only one choice – a Macintosh PowerBook.

Friday, 29 May 1998 (Order Day)
I was estatic. It was the day that I was going to order my PowerBook G3. I had finally made up my mind the night before, after reading the very helpful O’Grady’s PowerPage Message Boards, located at http://www.ogrady.com/messageboards.stm

I dialed The Apple Store. (1-800-795-1000, http://store.apple.com). After waiting on hold for approximately 35 minutes (I wasn’t timing the calls, yet…) I finally had a representative pick up. For the sake of the representative, we will call her “Judy.”

Judy: Thank you for calling The Apple Store, this is Judy, how may I help you?
Me: Yes, I’d like to order a PowerBook G3.
Judy: Great! What configuration would you like?
Me: I’d like it built to order, please. 250MHz/13.3/64MB of RAM/2GB Hard Disk/DVD-ROM drive/Floppy Drive/no modem.

After more conversation, credit card numbers, etc, I also ordered a 30-50 pin SCSI cable, bringing my total order, with tax and shipping, to just over $4,000.

Judy: Great sir. Your order number is *****, and it takes 2 weeks to be built, so your estimated shipping date is June 12th.
Me: And what would “estimated” mean?
Judy: Oh, nothing really, sir. That’s just a formality. We’re required to say that. The estimated shipping dates are usually extremely accurate, and the PowerBook’s ship within one or two days before or after that date.
Me: Great Judy, so I’ll expect it to ship around the 12th?
Judy: Yes.

After that, I got the usual “Thanks for calling The Apple Store” line. A line that I would hear one too many times over the next 3 1/2 weeks…

Monday, 01 June 1998

Another call to The Apple Store, to make sure everything was alright:

Apple Store: Thank you for calling The Apple Store, how may I help you?
Me: Yes, I’d like to check on the status of an order?
Apple Store: I’d be happy to help you sir, what’s your order number?
Me: That would be *****

After a few minutes of typing away at the computer…

Apple Store: That order is in the process of being built as we speak, and it is still expected to ship the 12th of June.

Many similar calls followed the next 2 weeks, all with the same answer, until finally, the anticipated Friday had arrived…

Friday, 12 June 1998 (Estimated Shipping Date #1)

I called The Apple Store around noon. After waiting on hold for around 45 minutes, I asked to check on the status of an order:

Apple Store: Sir, that order has been delayed. Your new shipping date is June 19th. Thank you for calling The Apple Store, goodbye.
Me: The?…

…but before I could get another word out, I heard a dial tone. He hung up on me! I was shocked! Another call to The Apple Store followed shortly. I got the normal bit from the rep, and then the first words out of my mouth were:

Me: You’re not going to hang up on me, are you?
Apple Store: Excuse me? I think you may have the wrong number, sir.
Me: Oh, I have the right number. In fact, I was just hung up on by one of your representatives after asking him to check on the status of my order, and I was making sure that you were not going to do the same.
Apple Store: Oh, I am sorry sir. I’d be happy to check on the status of your order. What’s your order number?

I was given June 19th as my new estimated shipping date, and after asking why it was delayed, I got this response:

Apple Store: It wasn’t delayed at all, sir. In fact, PowerBooks usually take longer to build than desktops do. Desktops usually take 2 weeks, but it has been my experience that PowerBooks take around 3, give or take a few days…

After being satisfied with that answer, I was actually calm, not worrying at all, eagerly anticipating my PowerBook. You see, I expected a delay (even though the second Apple Store representative disguised the fact with his sweet talk) Everyone should when ordering a new product I think. But what upset me was that I was hung up on. I felt representative on the other line was obviously too greedy and wanted to do nothing more than take big orders and get paid a nice fat commission. (my opinion, of course, as I don’t know if they make a commission or not)

The real fun, however, had not even begun…

Monday – Thursday, 15 – 18 June 1998

It was this week that I started timing my calls. Response time ranged from 28 minutes to 1 hour and 8 minutes, but every time, I was given the response “The estimated shipping date is the 19th.”

Thursday, 18 June 1998, 20:34 CDT

I went to check my e-mail, and I received an e-mail from Apple saying that my order had shipped. 15 minutes later, after I had calmed down a bit, I called The Apple Store just to make sure it really did.

Apple Store: Yes, sir. That order did ship, along with your SCSI cable, and you ordered Fed Ex standard overnight, so I’m happy to report that they both will be there tomorrow.

I was now even more excited, knowing that my order had in fact shipped! I could not wait! Just when I thought that this was all finally ending, it was really just beginning…

Friday, 19 June 1998 (Arrival Date #1)

After a 45 minute call to The Apple Store to get Federal Express’s phone number and my tracking number, I called Fed Ex. After getting a response of “This package is en-route to our Fed Ex station for delivery” from the automated tracking system, I got worried, so I decided to request a representative A speedy response (only seconds) came…

Fed Ex: Thank you for calling Fed Ex, can I have your tracking number please?
Me: Sure, it’s ***********

After a minute of typing away on the computer…

Fed Ex: Yes, sir, this package missed the plane, and it will not be arriving today. I’m sorry, sir, the problem appears to be on Apple’s end, here…

“The classic response,” I thought. How ironic that it was actually true… I was very upset for one reason. I paid $27 extra for overnight shipping, and it didn’t happen But I did not feel like another 45 minute call to The Apple Store to ask for a refund. I was told it would be here tomorrow (Saturday), but deep down inside, I knew that it wouldn’t…

Saturday, 20 June 1998 (Arrival Date #2)

Having lost all faith in overnight delivery (pending my experience two years earlier and the recent one), I was not expecting the PowerBook this day, which was a good thing, because it didn’t arrive. Another frustrating call to Fed Ex revealed that there was no Saturday or Sunday delivery (not a surprise) and that my order would not arrive until Monday…

Monday, 22 June 1998 (Arrival Date #3)

Trying put the last 3 weeks of delivery and phone hell behind me, I very nervously looked forward to my PowerBook arriving. Call after call after call to Fed Ex starting at 06:00 CDT revealed that the package was still “en-route to the Fed Ex station for delivery” until finally, at 08:20 CDT, I got the response “This package was sent out for delivery at 8:10 AM.” Bingo, I thought. I thought I was in the clear… I thought wrong, way wrong…

Monday, 22 June 1998 12:34 CDT

The Fed Ex truck pulled into my driveway. While signing for the package, the Fed Ex delivery person verified that the problem was on Apple’s end:

Fed Ex delivery person: “This package was marked for Friday delivery sir, but we didn’t receive it until this morning. And I don’t know where your cable is, we don’t have that yet. I apologize, but it was not our fault. I’d raise hell with Apple if I were you and demand a refund.”

But my PowerBook was only minutes away! Not thinking much of what the Fed Ex person said, I signed for the package, said Adieu (French for “goodbye for good” -or- “I will never see you again”), and ran in my house with the nice green box that said PowerBook G3 on it. I opened it up, went tearing through the packaging, until I picked it up. I was finally holding my PowerBook, my baby.

After reading through a few manuals to make sure I knew how to do everything, I was ready to plug it in. This is when I got the shock of the summer. Apple had sent me the wrong power adapter, and without it, I could not use my PowerBook, as the factory charged battery needed a “jump start” of power from the AC adapter.

It was like receiving a car with no keys! I could not believe it! I was in denial…

You see, there are two parts to the Macintosh PowerBook 45W AC Adapter. Part 1 is a cord from the outlet to the “power brick.” In my case, both ends of this cord were 2-prong plugs. Part 2 is a cord from the PowerBook to the “power brick,” which was supposed to have a 2-prong connection on it’s end. But mine had 3 prongs, making it impossible to plug part 1 into part 2, and thus, making it impossible to use my PowerBook.

A quick call to Apple’s tech support, and a rather speedy 15 minute response by a very nice man, who we will call “Mike.” After the phone number and name bit, I explained my situation:

Mike: I see. So you were sent the wrong power adapter. Could you hang on one minute, sir?

After 20 minutes, he came back…

Mike: Adam?
Me: Yes.
Mike: Ok, Adam. We accidentally sent you the international power adapter instead of the domestic version. I’m very sorry. We are going to send you a new power adapter free of charge, and you can simply discard of the old one. I have Nancy from dispatch on the line here…
Nancy: Hi Adam.
Mike: Nancy is going to get your shipping information down and we’ll get this thing out to you. Thanks for calling Adam. Have a nice day.

“Have a nice day.” HA! I should have said I would have a nice day when I got my PowerBook working. Restraining myself, I went through my shipping information with Nancy, and at the end of the conversation she said something weird…

Nancy: Ok Adam, I changed the part number, and it will be arriving tomorrow via Airborne Express…

Not thinking much of the first line, I concentrated on the second line, which was positive. “Arriving tomorrow” and “Airborne Express,” a shipping company that had always come through for me and that I knew I could trust.

In the meantime, I kept thinking of what the Federal Express delivery person said about the shipment:

::Flashback to 12:34 CDT (Delivery Time)::

Fed Ex delivery person: This package was marked for Friday delivery sir, but we didn’t receive it until this morning. And I don’t know where your cable is, we don’t have that yet. I apologize, but it was not our fault. I’d raise hell with Apple if I were you and demand a refund.

::Back to normal time:

Hmmm… I kept thinking, and then I went back to the conversation with “Nancy” from The Apple Store. “I changed the part number” kept circling around in my head. Not good. I now knew I would have to call Apple again to make sure I was receiving the right part. Now I had three things I had to do, ASAP: 1.) Call Apple about the part number situation and receive a tracking number for my package; 2.) Call The Apple Store and demand a refund; 3.) Call The Apple Store to find out where my cable is and get the tracking number for that.

“What a nightmare,” I thought. I kept thinking about all the people who received normal PowerBooks that were delivered overnight, on time. But it was no time for feeling sorry for myself. I had to take care of three problems. I decided I would do the hardest first: demand a refund.

After exactly 51 minutes of waiting on the phone, and 10 minutes of arguing with the original representative, another representative, and the supervisor, I finally got my account credited for the amount of the overnight delivery. I also received a tracking number for the cable, which was my next destination…

A call to Fed Ex revealed that my cable was in their system, but it was still “en-route to the Fed Ex station for delivery.” I told them that I wanted it to be here tomorrow, and they said it would be. Satisfied, and being worried about my possible wrong part situation, I decided to put it aside and call Apple…

Monday 22 June 1998 14:26 CDT

I spoke to another very nice representative at Apple’s, and after approximately a hour on the phone with her, I received confirmation that it was in fact the right part after all. I thanked the representative, hung the phone up, and then I remembered: “I forgot to get a tracking number”!

Another call to Apple’s tech support was not as inviting. After being transferred from department to department 4 times, I was fed up with everything, and I demanded a tracking number right then and there. When the representative came back, I was told that “tracking numbers are not generated until the following morning,” so I would have to wait until morning for it.

Now, having time to sit down and put things in perspective is what really got me upset. It had now been 4 long days of waiting for my PowerBook AND cable, only to get one of the two pieces, and discover that I could not use it. And I was lied to (or “charmed”), numerous times. Not by Federal Express, not by Apple’s Tech Support, but by The Apple Store.

As it turned out, both my cable and the correct power adapter arrived the next day, and I was able to fully use my new PowerBook, which, by the way, I am very pleased with. (Look for a review of the PowerBook G3 next month).

Conclusions
Now, 9 days after the end of a very bad dream, I can finally sit down and write a coherent column on my experience. My PowerBook took 4 extra days to deliver and 5 extra days to use. My SCSI system cable took 5 extra days to deliver. I feel that I am justified to place blame, and I blame The Apple Store.

To back up my statement, I will look back on each of the parties involved: Federal Express did everything they could to get my PowerBook and cable to me on time. Airborne Express and Apple’s Tech Support were very accommodating and proved to be superb, rushing my power adapter to me and delivering it on time the next day. The Apple Store, however, was horrible. Long periods of waiting on the phone, unfriendly and at times, downright rude sales representatives. And very poor delivery of the package to the shipping carrier all make my decision to blame them a very obvious one.

I understand that when a company releases a new product, I should expect delays. But what I don’t understand is why I was lied to, time and time again. I don’t understand why I was hung up on by an Apple Store sales representative. I don’t understand why I had to wait an average of 45 minutes every time I called The Apple Store. I don’t understand why I was given an international power adapter when The Apple Store knew my order was domestic. I flat out don’t understand why The Apple Store’s customer service was so poor.

Sadly, my personal advice to you is to avoid The Apple Store at all costs. If you have a pending order there, bless you, because you may be in for some of the same problems that I have had. If you have had success with The Apple Store, consider yourself extremely lucky. But if you have had a similar or worse experience than mine, join the club–a club that is growing each and every day according to many Internet websites.

Mr. Jobs, you really need to clean this up. The Apple Store was a great idea. However, opening up direct ordering is good so long as the company can be prompt in their deliveries of the product to the shipping carrier, quick to the phones, and most of all, honest with their customers. I’m ashamed and embarrassed to say that I was foolish enough to order from The Apple Store, and that I was a customer of this irresponsible and flat out disgusting service.

The Moral of the Story
Many people may argue that I got way too worked up about this. However, I feel that when you spend $4,000 on a product, you should expect nothing but the best customer service.

I would love to hear from some of you about your Apple Store experiences. Feel free to e-mail your experiences and feedback on this column to webmaster@mymac.com. If I get enough responses, I will include them in another column.

Adam Karneboge
webmaster@mymac.com

Websites mentioned:
http://www.macintouch.com
http://www.ogrady.com/messageboards.stm
http://store.apple.com

Look Mom, No Hands! 1.5.1
Company: Tools & Toys
Shareware: $9.00
http://www.ToolsAndToys.com

Look Mom, No Hands (referred to as LMNH from this point on), from Tools & Toys, is such a useful utility, and I regret not reviewing it sooner! LMNH allows you to use contextual menus without having to use the Control key. You simply hold down the mouse button until the contextual menu pops up, and then use the contextual menu as you normally would. LMNH also lets you hold and click Finder folder popup menus without holding down the Command key, then allowing you navigate through all the higher level folders as normal.

Adjusting the delay time for LMNH is also simple. You use the double-click speed in the Mouse Control Panel, and set it accordingly. This eliminates the need for its own control panel, and in turn, another possible conflict.

The Summary
Simply put, Look Mom, No Hands is absolutely ingenious! $9.00? I’d pay $19.00. Highly Recommended for anyone who routinely uses contextual menus.

Download Look Mom, No Hands! 1.5.1 

A Better Finder Rename 1.1
Author: Frank Reiff
Shareware: $10.00
http://www.publicspace.net/ABetterFinderRename

As many of you already know, earlier this month we moved My Mac Online to a Macintosh web server. I was delighted, but there was a lot of work involved in the move. One of the tasks I needed to accomplish was to rename all of the suffixes on the end of our HTML files from .htm to .html. For a small website, with a few pages, this is a simple, easy task. But for a large website with 200+ pages, this can prove very time consuming. That’s where A Better Finder Rename (referred to as ABFR from this point on) comes into play.

ABFR is better because it will rename large batches of files all at one time, eliminating the need to copy and paste the names file by file. ABFR consists of an application and a contextual menu plug-in, which together make this one of the most useful finder-level utilities I have ever used.

ABFR is very straightforward. After highlighting the files you want to rename, you simply select “rename files” from the contextual menu, and the ABFR application will launch. From there, you can specify what you want it to search for and what you want it to replace that text with. For example, to replace .htm with .html, I typed .htm in the “Replace” field, and .html in the “With” field. Then, I clicked “OK,” and let ABFR do its magic.

While inside the application, you can choose to rename your files in different ways, such as “Replace anywhere within name,” “Add at beginning of the name” and “Make UPPERCASE,” among others. ABFR also provides you with an example for each way of renaming a file.

The Summary
ABFR does its job, and does it well. It was very stable, and interacted seamlessly with the Finder, providing me with a quick, easy way to rename large batches of files. While not useful for everyone, ABFR saved me about an hour’s worth of tedious work, and that alone completely justifies its modest $10.00 shareware fee. Highly Recommended for anyone looking to save time renaming files.

Download A Better Finder Rename 1.2 

I Love Native! 2.0.3
Author: Jerry Du
Freeware
http://www.dragonone.com

I Love Native! is an application that allows one to get information and manipulate the types of code in PowerPC or 68k Applications, Control Panels, and Extensions.

I Love Native! has a well done interface, and lets you not only see what type of code is in an application, but also lets you create PowerPC and 68k only applications from applications that were previously fat binary (will run on either platform). It will also install “safe exit code” in a PowerPC-only application so that if you launch it on a 68k machine, you will get a message explaining why you can’t launch the program, rather than a type -192 error.

I Love Native! also lets you create a fat binary application if you have both the PowerPC and 68k versions of the exact same application on your hard drive. Very nice.

The Summary
I Love Native! is a great program that is useful in many ways, and will make life easier for many users who travel between 68k and PowerPC Macs every day. And the best part of all: it’s free. What’s not to like? Recommended.

Download I Love Native! 2.0.3 

Adam Karneboge
webmaster@mymac.com

Websites mentioned:
http://www.ToolsAndToys.com
http://www.publicspace.net/ABetterFinderRename
http://www.dragonone.com

Instant QuicKeys 1.0
Company: CE Software
Estimated Price: $29.95
http://www.cesoft.com

CE Software’s latest product is aimed at novices and casual Mac users who want to take advantage of the best features of macro programs, but want to keep it simple and not bother with the macros themselves. Although I find the program a little too simplistic for my needs and taste, Instant QuicKeys accomplishes its goal with style and a clean interface, and should be perfect for its intended audience.

Instant QuicKeys greets the user with a simple window offering all of its capabilities. The user only has to click the appropriate buttons and answer a few questions, and all of the macro-generating is done for them. In no time at all, the user will have generated fast, efficient keyboard shortcuts for their tasks without breaking a sweat.

Instant QuicKeys does place a limit on what type of macros you can create, but the options available should meet the needs of most users. You can assign keyboard shortcuts to launch applications, change printers, log onto file servers, and open often used folders. Other macros can be made for inserting the date and time or a string of text into a document, controlling the Audio CD Player, and carrying out common Finder functions, such as restarting, shutting down, manipulating windows, and switching between active applications.

All of these tasks are generated in a very straightforward interface that involves choosing the appropriate item from a standard dialog box or clicking on a few radio buttons. Choosing which keyboard shortcuts apply to which macro is as easy as dragging-and-dropping the macro’s name onto a picture of a keyboard.

This is the main area where I find that Instant QuicKeys falls short. When choosing your keyboard shortcuts, you are only allowed to use the function keys (F1-F12) and any combination of modifier keys. I would have preferred to be able to use other shortcuts that I would be able to remember easier, such as Option-Shift-Right arrow to advance my audio CD. This limitation, in addition to not being able to create macros for anything other than Instant QuicKeys’ predefined set, made me feel too restricted to really like Instant QuicKeys.

However, I’m not the type of user that Instant QuicKeys is intended for. On the other hand, Instant QuicKeys would be ideal for people like my parents. Until I got my own computer, they were constantly worried that my tinkering around in the System Folder and other such activities would somehow break the family Mac. (Now they don’t care if I want to try to break my own!) They would rather not have to mess with scripting, complicated installation and preference settings, and the like, but they were impressed with the features and shortcuts that I could make the Mac perform, and they wanted to be able to take advantage of that power, too. Instant QuicKeys provides just that: power to control many of the most popular features that are found in macro utilities, but without the mess of having to actually make the macros.

The conclusion? If you’re fairly confident about your Mac knowledge and want to have the flexibility to design your own macros or make changes to existing ones, then pass on Instant QuicKeys and put the money towards buying a full macro program, such as QuicKeys, KeyQuencer, or One Click. If you’d rather just have easy, simple shortcuts to launching applications, switching printers, and controlling your Audio CDs, all without the hassle of making complicated macros, then your thirty bucks are best spent on Instant QuicKeys. It’s a simple, easy-to-use program that gets the job done.

(If you’re interested in just how much more power and flexibility is available in a full macro program, tune in next month for my review of QuicKeys 3.5.3 and the QuicKeys PowerPak suite of add-ons.)

MacMice Rating: 3

Mike Wallinga
mikew@mymac.com

Websites mentioned:
http://www.cesoft.com

Hi, everyone! I don’t have anything extremely concrete to write about this month, so I’m going to hit a few random points; kind of a catchall column to wrap up a few things from previous months.

Random PowerBook Reflections
After a full month of practical use at college, I am still very impressed with my upgraded 1400. It is a workhorse, and has been the most reliable Mac I have used to date. I’m also rather attached to the campus T1 line I get to access the Internet with. No file is too large for me to download now!!!

An odd observation is that I seem to hit the Caps Lock key by accident quite often while I am typing. I’m not sure if this is an effect of the PowerBook’s smaller keyboard or what, but I’ve never had that problem typing on any other keyboards. A minor annoyance at best, because the rest of my typing has been largely unaffected.

The only disadvantage I’ve run across with my 1400 is that it is built with a slow video subsystem. It’s not a big deal, since I don’t do any video editing, but if I don’t have enough RAM available, or if the system is busy doing other things in the background, the frame rate drops considerably when I’m trying to watch South Park movies!

Anyone who has a PowerBook and is even slightly concerned with theft (and when you’re dealing with something as small and as expensive as a notebook computer, you should be!) should look into the Kensington MicroSaver security cable. It’s an unobtrusive 6-foot steel cable that attaches to your PowerBook on one end and any immovable object on the other. I carry the key to unlock the cable on my keychain, and there is no way that my 1400 is going anywhere without using that key first. Best of all, the MicroSaver only costs about $35, which is a small price to pay for the security that it provides.

Control-Click Heaven
I have fallen in love with contextual menus. I don’t know how I lived without them before. Anyone who has not picked up the freeware CMM plug-in FinderPop really should. This thing is invaluable. It provides easy file and application launching, as well as access to commonly-used folders and volumes. One of my favorite features is an “Empty Trash Now!” command, which empties the trash without the warning dialog box, and can do so from anywhere on the screen, instead of having to Control-Click the trash can to bring up that option. Very slick!

For those out there still using Apple’s mice, FinderPop also gives the option of bringing up a contextual menu without holding down the Control key, based on how long the mouse button is held down. Another nice feature, but personally I couldn’t live without my Kensington mouse.

The only problem I’ve run across with contextual menus? SimpleText doesn’t support them.

Game Updates
Chris Dillman of Plaid World Software has released version 3.0 of his top-shelf shooter, Project Magellan, which Adam and I reviewed a couple months ago. Version 3.0 makes minor changes to the game, and also adds an “Arcade” mode feature, in which the power-up system and game play is more like a typical Nintendo-esque shooter. The update does away with the CD-ROM distribution method of the full version of the game, and allows registered users to download the full version over the Internet. The shareware fee has also been lowered from $29 to $20.

Project Magellan remains, in my opinion, the most gorgeous shooter out there, but it does take quite a bit of horsepower to run acceptably, unless you want to lower the graphic quality and frame rate. Users with less powerful Macs who want fun side-scrolling shooter action should try out Star Fight: Final 1.1 by A. Takano. The graphics are reminiscent of 8-bit arcade games, but the game is fun.

Finally…
I’ll close this month with a confession. My new PowerBook has decreased my productivity in college. I know the Mac OS is easier to use, and thus should increase my productivity, etc, etc. The things is, keep in mind that my previous two Macs have been an original LC and a LC 575, neither of which packed very much horsepower. But with my 1400/250 G3, I can play the latest games, do all kinds of cool things with video and sound, and surf the web at lightning-fast speeds using every plug-in imaginable. When I use one of the campus Windows machines, I find myself wanting to type what I need to type and get away from the computer as quickly as possible, but when I use my 1400, it’s just too much fun to play around with all the cool things I can do!

I’m sorry to have to debunk one of the best advantages we as Mac users have, but I’ve got to be honest. People say that Mac users are more efficient and more productive than their Windows-using counterparts, but in my case, the opposite has been true. As long as Apple keeps on making computers that are this easy to do all kinds of fun stuff with, I may never want to get any work done!

Not that that’s a bad thing.

Until next month, happy Mac-ing!

Mike Wallinga
mikew@mymac.com

Websites mentioned:
http://www.plaidworld.com/software/pm/pm.html
http://bounce.to/turly
http://www02.so-net.ne.jp/~cbstudio/index.html
http://www.kensington.com/products/usage/protection/index.html

Spades Deluxe 1.0
Company: Freeverse Software
Shareware: $19.95
http://www.freeverse.com

Mike: Freeverse Software has been making
quality games for the Macintosh for a long time,
but for much of that time its flagship product,
Hearts Deluxe, was the only one anybody knew
about. Recently, Freeverse has hit several home runs (although not quite as many as Mark McGwire), turning out games such as the poker/Scrabble combination CrossCards, and their own entertaining version of Klondike, Burning Monkey Solitaire. Freeverse has hit another long ball with Spades Deluxe, which promises to do for the game of spades what Hearts Deluxe did for hearts.

Adam: Long time readers of Game Guys will know that I am not a card player, and usually don’t consider playing cads as entertainment. Long time readers will also know that Mike and I are big fans of Freeverse Software’s games, which always seem to capture the card player in me, and get me addicted to a game that I never before considered playing.

Mike: Spades is a card game that requires a lot of thought and strategy, because you are playing as a team with another player, against another team of two players. After each hand is dealt, all four players must say how many tricks they intend to take in that hand. Each team is responsible for collecting the sum of the bids of the two players. For example, if you bid four tricks, and your partner bids three, your team is responsible for taking seven of the thirteen tricks in that hand.

Adam: Taking a trick in spades is the same as in Hearts, where the highest card in the highest suit on the table takes the trick. Of course, in the game of Spades, the trump suit is spades, which means that any spade, no matter what value, will override any other suit on the table. If there is more than one spade on the table, the highest value spade will take the trick.

Mike: The scoring in Spades is based upon the number of tricks you and your partner take in each hand. If you meet or exceed your bids, you get a lot of points. If you don’t meet your bids, you lose points. The amount of points gained or lost is also proportional to the number of tricks that you bid, so being gutsy in your bidding can really make things interesting. If you bid high and make it, you can build a big lead quickly. If you make a steep bid and fail to reach it, however, you can dig yourself a hole that can be tough to climb out of! On the other hand, if you bid low the entire time, you probably won’t lose many points, but your score won’t increase very fast, either.

Adam: Even though the concept of “the highest card wins” is pretty straightforward, it can be a challenge to learn how to play cooperatively with your partner, making good bids at the same time. Once you get the hang of it, though, Spades becomes a lot of fun to play, and it’s even more fun when both you and your partner are doing well.

Mike: In my opinion, the most amazing thing about Spades Deluxe is the job that Freeverse has done with the computer intelligence. To make a game in which the computer opponents react to situations as well as they do in Spades Deluxe is really impressive. This is especially true since one of the computer opponents is a teammate of yours, and the other two have to work together against you, unlike a game such as Hearts where it is everyone for themselves. The opposing computer team will really test your strategy, and your partner is often smarter than you are (at least he was a lot smarter than me!). To top things off, you can choose the type of playing style you want each computer player to have–either aggressive, conservative, or down the middle. Amazing!

Adam: I agree, Mike. You can also set the skill level of the players, the game room, scenery, and much more. And there are always those little humorous features that we have come to expect from Freeverse, including the famous “Boss Coming” feature.

Requirements/Availability
No requirements for Spades Deluxe were given, but it runs without hitch on all three of my Power Macs, a 6100, a 6400, and a PowerBook G3/250.

You can download Spades Deluxe from the Freeverse Software website at http://www.AmbrosiaSW.com, or from download.com, at http://www.download.com.

The Summary
Mike: The game features everything we’ve come to expect from Freeverse games. Anyone familiar with the interface and graphics in Hearts Deluxe will feel right at home, and the game is full of sound bites and comments from the other players–if you make a dumb move, look for your partner to chastise you!

All in all, Spades Deluxe is an outstanding addition to the Freeverse lineup of quality strategy-oriented games for the Macintosh. Anyone who likes card games should definitely give this one a try.

Adam: The fact that Spades Deluxe is so good comes as no surprise to me–I would expect nothing less from Freeverse Software. I have enjoyed playing Spades Deluxe very much, and that’s coming from a guy who normally thinks that playing cards is a waste of time. I highly recommend Spades Deluxe to card fans and non-card fans alike.

Download Spades Deluxe 1.5 

Mike Wallinga
mikew@mymac.com
Adam Karneboge
webmaster@mymac.com

Websites mentioned:
http://www.freeverse.com
http://www.download.com

Much as I have loved doing the ‘Churns’ I am going to phase them out with this final piece. Ah, but it’s a piece with a happy ending.

An Apple in disarray offers all sorts of dramatic possibilities. And Steve certainly gave us plenty of drama throughout the past year. But an Apple, fallen on happy times, is harder and harder to churn. A good Churn requires passion and pathos. A certain fire and frenzy, seasoned with a dollop of despair.

Microsoft, of course, is always with us, but how many ways can you write that same old refrain: ‘One for All and All for Bill’

So, now we will live happily ever after? Not likely. And if the Apple Saga heats up once more, don’t be surprised to see a Churn bubbling away in the pot.

My Bondi-Blue Beauty Awake Unto Me

“Smile for Papa,” urged the King. “Smile at all the nice people,.” But the toddler clung to the Queen’s skirts, peeking through folds of silk at the throngs who had come for her christening.

The King looked at the Queen. The Queen looked at the King. The Good Fairies rolled their eyes and looked at the ceiling.

Just then, young Prince Steven, cousin of the Queen, slipped onto the stage. And giving the child a wink, he raised her high above his head, perching her atop his shoulder.

The King and the Queen held their respective breath. The audience held their respective ears. There is nothing more earsplitting than a howling princess at her Grand Debut.

The Prince tickled a royal toe and whispered something to the Princess. And with a charming smile, Little Beauty grinned at the crowds below and babbled her very first word.

“Hello.”

With that, the Five Fairy Godmothers swooped down to welcome the young Princess and offer their gifts.

The First Fairy kissed the child on either side of her sweet smile and said, “May she always remain as charming as she is today. I offer the gift of User Friendliness.”

The Second Fairy kissed both rosy cheeks and said, “She’s a born beauty, no help needed there. May these apples always bloom in her cheek. I offer the gift of Good Health.”

The Third Fairy, noting a gleam of mischief in those royal blue eyes, kissed Beauty on the forehead and smiled. “May she always bring pleasure to those around her. I offer the gift of a Joyful Heart.”

The Fourth Fairy, the artistic one, took the small dimpled hands in her own and said, “May she find delight in all that she sees and does. And inspire the same in others. I offer the gift of Creative Endeavor.”

The Fifth Fairy stepped forward intending to offer a gift of Memory, something in short supply on the King’s side, when a sudden hush fell over the Great Hall.

“So! What have we here!” Demanded an apparition so black that power supplies were drained and disks instantly demagnetized.

“Did you think I would have no gift for the young Princess?” Cried the Black Fairy. “Why, I have more than enough gifts for all!

“Where shall we start? Such a sweet little flower. Perhaps we will allow her a brief period of bloom. Minstrels and poets will sing her praises.

“But, just as she comes of age, she will fall into disfavor. Those same troubadours and snake-charmers will cry her doom.

“Their very words will so dishearten the girl, she will slip into a swoon and die.” And with that, the Black Fairy tapped the child with the tip of her wand and was gone.

The last Fairy picked up the small princess and sighed. “My Little Beauty,” she said to the wide-eyed child, “I can do nothing to erase the Black Fairy’s curse. But, I can soften the pain. You will, I’m afraid, fall into a swoon.

“But you will not die, my dear. You will simply sleep forever. Or until someone brave and daring, and yes, charming as well, hacks his way through the brambles to awaken you.”

Minstrels, poets, storytellers, soothsayers and even itinerant scribes were banned, forthwith, from the kingdom. And the young princess grew in good health, filled with joy, creativity and, above all, user friendliness.

But on the day of her coming of age, she slipped away to the top of the castle and there, in a musty corner, found an old, old woman, dressed in black and plucking a lute.

Never had Beauty seen such a thing, Never had she heard such sweetness as poured from the ancient strings. Blessed as she had been, her young life had never tasted the joys of story or song.

“My good grandmother,” she said shyly. “What is this thing you hold? This strange and wonderful thing you have that I’ve never seen nor heard before.”

“Only your life in my hands, my dear,” smiled the old woman. “Come a little closer. I shall sing your days.”

Beauty crept closer to the old woman, fearful yet drawn by the haunting sound of the lute. “Perhaps an apple for your health,” said the crone, placing a ripe, red fruit in Beauty’s lap. And she began to play.

The first notes were gay and Beauty’s heart soared with the melody. But slowly, subtly, the key became a minor one, filled with sadness and doom. And death. Over and over, the songs sang of death.

The rosy glow vanished from Beauty’s cheeks. The apple shriveled in her hands. Her smile flickered and died. And she fell to the floor in a cold and dreamless sleep.

The best minds and the wisest magicians were summoned to the castle. But not one could rouse the Princess. Dr. Peter, in constant attendance at her bedside, looked grave. “There is nothing more I can do,” he said.

The King and Queen, devastated that nothing could be done to waken Dear Beauty from the coma in which she lay, retired to their bedchamber and would see no one. The palace fell into disrepair and a hedge of thorns encircled the castle wall.

Time passed. In a distant land, Prince Steven, no longer in his first youth, but still as charming as before, heard tales of an enchanted Princess locked in an endless sleep.

Now, due to some awkwardness in the past (our young Prince had once tried to usurp Uncle’s throne), it had been many years since he had set foot in the Kingdom.

“But,” he reminded himself, “memory was never the old King’s strength. Probably forgotten all about feeding me to the lions should I return.” And off he went, on a great white horse, to rescue his Sleeping Beauty.

It wasn’t easy. The brambles about the castle were fiercely entrenched. Songs and Stories, once unleashed, took on a life of their own, escalating with every telling. And the old King’s memory was not quite as bad as the Prince had hoped.

But the Prince, hatchet in one hand, charm in the other, persevered. At last he stood in the Great Hall where once he had hoisted the young Beauty to his shoulder.

There, surrounded by candles, growing shorter and shorter until they were little more than stubs, she lay on a slab of white marble. Death no more than a breath or two away.

He bent low, brushing aside some bits of withered apple still clinging to her gown. He took her hand in his and planted the requisite kiss upon her brow. “Awake!” he commanded, “your Prince has come.”

Her face held only a blinking question mark. Though her hard drive still spun, her ROM was clouded and her desktop in urgent need of rebuilding. And anyway, memory had never been her strong suit.*

There was some doubt in her mind as to whether she was a princess, a toaster or a washing machine. In a small, troubled voice she murmured, “Where am I? Who am I?”

The Prince leaned forward and whispered in her ear. “Think, Beauty! Remember what I said when you were but a babe.” Her eyes opened slightly and her monitor began to glow.

Suddenly, her lips parted. “I remember, now,” she whispered back.

“I think, therefore I Mac. I Mac, therefore I am !”

A smile lit her face and twin apples reddened her cheeks. She gleamed up at Prince Charming. And said with a twinkle in one bondi-blue eye:

“Hello Again!”

*The original Mac was a marvelous thing, but a bit short on RAM.

“Trojan Horse? Or Cavalry Come to Save Us?”
Desktop Dilettante / MacTimes Network
http://www.mactimes.com/features/howerter10198.shtml

Susan Howerter
susan@mymac.com

Websites mentioned:
http://www.mactimes.com/features/howerter10198.shtml

This was truly the Summer of the Trailing Edge, with marvelous buys on everything from close-out clones to high level G3s. But for the female side of the family, it became the Summer of the PowerBook when the Desktop Dilettante* tossed kith and kin into the AppleCart and enticed them to go for broke.

VooDoo One: Calling all PowerBooks!

Early this summer my sister and her daughter arrived from London for a family wedding, their well-worn 140 and 170 in tow. Both had served them faithfully. The 140 saw my niece through school and into marriage. My sister had been so fond of her original 170 that, disappointed in her new 5300, she traded it, the next trip home, even-steven, for a used 170.

Naturally, not long after landing, they found themselves at Haddock Computer Center in Wichita checking out the latest Mac stuff.

Day One: There they were, fighting jet lag and browsing happily among the Macs, wishing they could upgrade, but knowing the prices would stagger the budget. Then, Voilà, they saw them. A couple of close-out PowerBooks at fire-sale prices. The last ones in stock, until the new, second generation, G3s arrived.

An expedition to CompUSA turned up a lone 1400/166 as well as a speedy light-weight 2400 (great for travelers, but no CD). Wichita was down to a dwindling handful of PowerBooks.

Call to the Dilettante in Topeka. Should Allison (sister) get a close-out 1400 and let Kate (niece) have her 170? Well, you know what we said. “Quick! Grab one! Before they disappear!”

After all, I knew Sis was good for it. She had recently gotten an advance on a self-help book she’d written. Something she had intended to call ‘Lifestyles of the Normal Neurotic’ though Lord knows what the publisher would call it in the end. Regardless, her advance would have covered a G3–with a little something left over for RAM.

“But which one do I get?” she moaned, as Mac Lovers do when we have to make a choice. “I just want to write, do email and surf the Web. One machine is cheaper, but they assure me the other, only a few hundred more, is really the better buy. Faster, I think, and there is something about the screen.”

“Ah,” I say, smug in my growing knowledge of computer jargon, “probably Active Matrix. Easier on the eyes. And the better machine no doubt runs at 166 vs.133.” I’m determined to strut my stuff. Well, why not? She has an advance. I don’t even have a nibble.

“Either one would be fine for word processing, email and the Internet.” I add. “Don’t shilly-shally around, though. Deals like this won’t last. Oh, and make sure you have them add another 16 RAM before you go.” It was as good as bought.

Day Two: Second phone call. Says Allison, “Shhhh! Don’t tell. Haddocks must think I’m crazy. But I bought them both. One for me and one for Kate.

And so she should. If it hadn’t been for daughter Kate’s persistence in peddling the manuscript, there wouldn’t have been any advance. Let alone a book.

“You got both?” Ah, happy visions of setting up not one, but two, brand new 1400s. And all while the bourgeoisie fiddled around getting their nails done for the upcoming wedding. “So who gets what?”

More gnashing of teeth and tearing of hair. “I hope I did the right thing. It’s a lot of money just to save a few dollars on long distance. I can’t even decide which one I prefer. The faster one, the one with the better screen, seems bulky. Hard to hold on to. And almost no software.”

“No Software? They both ought to have the same stuff. They certainly ought to be the same size!” Hey, I know those PowerBooks. I window-shop Macs like some folks window-shop cars. “What does the sales receipt say?”

We work our way through a maze of numbers. Slowly. Numbers aren’t our thing. “Well, this is odd,” she says finally. “It says here something about $1899 next to something about 3400. It might be the price of the two computers together, but…”

“3400!” I squeal. “You mean you just got a 3400 for $1899?” I’m breathing hard and thinking fast.

Panic stricken, she asks, “Is there something wrong? Did I blow the deal? Visions of creeping back to Haddocks to eat crow flash through her mind.

“Hardly!” I say. “But that 3400 is far too good for you,” Okay. Maybe I shouldn’t have put it quite so bluntly. But we were badly in need of a fast, graphics capable PowerBook for our own daughter. A 3400 to be precise. I’d been scanning the Net for a cheap close-out for weeks.

The wheels started spinning. Once committed to a new Mac, there’s no turning back. But the 3400 really was overkill for ClarisWorks and email. And, as a frequent transatlantic traveler, Allison was already concerned about weight and size. A wily sister might turn this to her advantage.

“You’re having the old Impulse Shopper’s Second Thoughts Panic Attack, right?” Note: I am leading the witness here.

“Check with CompUSA,” I say. “If they’ve still got that 2400, get it. We’ll pay you for the 3400. Even go halves on a CD. It was a win/win sort of thing.

Day Three: Allison slips into Haddocks with her third PowerBook. (Wrapped thoughtfully in a plain brown wrapper.) Now they know she’s crazy and the upgrade department is on overtime. She mumbles something to the effect that it’s all her sister’s fault.

Her sister, she says, is some sort of Mac maniac emanating that hypnotic Mac Voodoo that causes innocent bystanders to break down and snarf up an entire city’s supply of PowerBooks.

(This is now known as the ‘iMac Phenomenon’ due to numerous reports of people so entranced with the new blue beauty that they leave the store trailing more iMacs than their cars can carry.)

The salesman pulls out the original two PowerBooks and places them side by side on the counter as Allison stands transfixed by the enormity of what she is doing. With three PowerBooks staring back at her, all on the same charge card–hers–it’s hard to know where to begin. But she has her instructions.

She pulls out her list, checking it twice. It puts Santa to shame. Gamely, she takes a deep breath and begins.

“Could you please put that 16 RAM thingy in the 2400 instead of the 3400 and add another 64 RAM to the 3400. And, don’t forget, we still need an additional 16 RAM in the 1400. Let’s see now. Where were we? Oh yes. We could use an extra battery and a couple of those handy airplane adapters. And um, there was something else. Wait. I know I’ve got it here somewhere.”

She digs around in her purse for a second list. “Found it! Kate needs one of those nifty pocket Zips and I need that little PCmodem doojiggy.” She stops, briefly, for breath.

“Oh! I almost forgot. We better get some of those whatchamacallit cables to hook it all up. And a bag to carry it in. Two actually.”

“Anything else???”

Um, well… Could they be quick about it, please. The plane leaves for London on Monday.

Email from London: 6/98

Yo Susan! Wow! This new 1400/166 is Marvelous. Would you believe that even my Scottish born, IBM toting husband is impressed! It rocks!

Mom will email you as soon as she can get AOL figured out. We spent five hours with her last weekend trying to get her up and running. Think she’s about got it.

Thanks for everything. Kate

AppleCart: 9/98
Hey Sis! I’m waiting.

*******************

* Why Dilettante? In addition to writing for My Mac, I’m now doing a bimonthly column for MacTimes Network as the ‘Desktop Dilettante’. The what? The Eternal Amateur, in love with the Mac for what it allows even the klutz among us to accomplish. You will find us at: http://www.mactimes.com.

Or go straight to the ‘Desktop’ for:
“IMAC EVE! A Sure Cure for the Dog Days of Summer”
http://www.mactimes.com/features/howerter81498.html
“Hello! From the Desktop Dilettante” with risqué iMac Cartoon

http://www.mactimes.com/features/howerter9198.shtml

Susan Howerter
susan@mymac.com

Websites mentioned:
http://www.mactimes.com/features/howerter81498.html
http://www.mactimes.com/features/howerter9198.shtml
http://www.mactimes.com

This page is where we give My Mac readers a voice to express their thoughts and views. If it’s on your mind and concerns the Macintosh, we’d like to hear what you’ve got to say. Having a problem with a vendor, and no one seems able to help? We can try to contact the company to speak on your behalf. Write to us and we’ll share your letter with the world!

This month’s “The Reader Writes…” comes from Eolake Stobblehouse. If you want to see what a great website looks like, point your browser over to http://www.stobblehouse.dk Eolake takes a look at “When Art meets the Computer” A contradiction in terms? Well, read for yourself! Eolake welcomes any and all feedback, and I personally hope to see more from him in the future!

By:Eolake Stobblehouse
eolake@domai.com

I was posed a curious question the other day. One that I had not expected at all, but maybe should have.

Granted, the setting was perfect for a question about aesthetics. I was sitting over a cup of coffee, being interviewed by a sweet and bright woman in Copenhagen’s famous art museum, the Glyptotek. We were surrounded by Rodin sculptures, van Gogh paintings, whatnot.

So out of the blue she says to me: “You know when I first saw your website, I was struck by the tender and warm beauty that it has, and I felt this conflict between that and the medium, the computer. I had not thought that something like that could exist in that medium.”

Now you gotta understand, this was not my niece or whatever. This was the editor of Webworld, she is less than thirty years old, and she uses a computer and the web every day. Yet she perceives a conflict between computers and fine, warm aesthetics. So, does she have a point? Is it hopeless to try to create and distribute on a cold machine the things that master artists have struggled to manifest on canvas and in marble up through the ages?

Well, let’s count the points. A computer monitor is not up to displaying anywhere near the resolution of a large canvas. A computer can be a bitch to learn , it is expensive for many people, it cannot easily make anything of three dimensions which has physicality and structure and weight. OK, all well and good. But personally I don’t think these are the real issues. The thing is that a computer from the start was something so hideously expensive and cumbersome that it only belonged where the money was. And the money is not with creative people. The money is with the banks, the large corporations, with Incorporated Bully Machine. The computer is for the suits. The suits can afford to hire nerds to help them with the computer, so the computer is hard to use. The computer belongs to Big Brother, to the control society. What it does is hard mathematical calculations to make corporations richer and scientists more famous.

Or rather, was. Today, because there were people who did not agree that it had to be that way, it is different. We have computers affordable to just about anybody with a job. Today we have computers that even folks who hate technology can be enthusiastic about using. Today, children of 5 are being creative on a computer. As for the rest of it… The monitors are getting bigger and better and cheaper all the time, and so are the printers. The differences of fidelity in that medium and in others are shrinking rapidly. Already it’s at a level where it need not matter in most cases at all.

I’ve had quality envy. I’m publishing on the web, and I’ve thought: In the future, I’m also gonna publish real novels on paper, and offset picture books on slick paper, and guess what… by 2005, who’s gonna need it? With a monitor with fx 30.000.000 pixels in millions of colors, and with web download times of a split-second for an image of any size, what is the difference any more? People will read my books on a Reader Machine that is much lighter and looks better than any paper book ever did. And sculpting will also be computer-aided. Already the technology is there, only too expensive yet.

It all stems from the simple fact that the web and the computer are a new medium. All media were cumbersome and slow and low-fidelity in the beginning. There is absolutely no conflict between art crafted slowly by hand and art crafted fast by electronics. Only how much unnecessary work come between the artist and the product. In a couple of decades, in the Glyptotek, no one will even think about whether a particular work that they are enjoying was designed on a computer or not. It will not matter at all.

Eolake Stobblehouse
eolake@stobblehouse.dk

Hi there. I’ve got good news and bad news this month. Which do you want first? I’ll give you the good news first.

Last month, as you will recall, I very calmly and rationally discussed my views on the subject of calling Technical Support and the various pricing policies that different companies “offer”. I, in dignified manner, explained, in eloquent fashion, my overwhelming disgust for such practices. In short, I was ticked off with having to pay almost $30.00 per “incident”. Yeah, right.

Well, I must quickly offer the flip side of Technical Support and that is the “Customer Service” department of these different companies. In early September, I had a customer come to my office with a PowerMac 6100 that needed a hard drive upgrade. She had purchased the drive from one of the popular mail-order companies, MacWarehouse. Unfortunately, it was a DOA part, in other words, it didn’t work right from the start.

I called the Customer Service Department of MacWarehouse thinking to myself, “this is gonna be a long drawn-out hassle”. I expected to be on hold for a while, I was, and that’s normal, but when Carol Brackman answered the line things moved quickly. I had already called two times prior and was not in the best humor, but when I explained my situation she immediately got the wheels turning and set me up with a replacement on the spot. I wasn’t going to have to go through the rigors of explaining myself to yet another Tech support person and for that I was most thankful. Carol was responsive, friendly and most of all CARED. One of the things I have learned over the few years that I’ve worked in Service is that you have got to care. Carol, you get two thumbs up from this writer! Make sure you show this to your boss!! ;^)

Okay, now for the bad news… Every month, Authorized Apple Service Providers get a book that is sacred to their business. It’s called the Service Price Pages. Just as it says, it’s Apple’s book on parts pricing.

Okay, late August I received the “August” price pages (don’t ask me why it’s so late) and in it was a yellow piece of paper. On this piece of paper was a lengthy list of computers that were no longer going to be serviced by Apple. I looked at things like “Mac Classic” and “LaserWriter II” and the LC Series. Forgive me for seeming dramatic, but it felt like the sun was setting on an era. All of these items were what I cut my teeth on. It seemed funny to see over 30 or so items that were not going to be serviced by Apple anymore. Instead of listing off everything here, I can tell you that basically, if it’s older than the 68040 series, then you’re not gonna be able to get parts from Apple. I did, however, look into whether other companies will be carrying Apple service parts and I found a couple that will for a while. Pre-owned Electronics in the Boston area (1-800-274-5343 extension 4411 Gary McNamara) carries vintage Apple parts. PC Service Source in Texas (1-800-PC PARTS) does, too. Tell your local Apple service guy about these two places. (Update: Ed has the list which has been updated and divided into 2 categories, Obsolete and Vintage. According to the update, the Vintage parts are available ONLY for current AppleCare contracts and in California, due to some statute there. Ed will forward the list to those readers who email him and request it.)

You know, I feel kinda sad that we’re seeing the older Macs losing their importance to Apple. I understand why they feel the need to change their service policies… really I do… Of course, I wish they wouldn’t do that but, you know, it’s progress, right? Maybe I’ll give them a call.. Oh yeah, I gotta get my credit card!

I am, as always, da Mac man.

Catcha L8r,

Eddie

Ed Tobey
edtobey@mymac.com

Websites mentioned:
http://www.freeyellow.com/members3/advantagemac